Friday, July 27, 2012

Do you get jealous?

I'm not a jealous person and really, my husband has never given me any reason to be jealous of another girl, so luckily, it has never been an issue in our relationship.

And then I discovered that I can be a jealous girl... not of another girl but of songs!  I know! What sense does it make, if it has any sense at all??

I already feel silly just by thinking about it now but the jealousy came in to me and I couldn't just silenced it with let's say, eating bars and bars of chocolates.

Before I get all the disapproving looks or ho-hums, let me at least elaborate the case at hand.  And then, I will accept judgments.

See, hubby loves many things about Asian culture.  Even before he met me, he's already an afficionado of animes.  Japan has always caught his interest.  But he met me, went head over heels (ahem) and his interest about Asian culture even grew wider.  He didn't only fell in love with me (ahem again) but also with Filipino cutlture, food, songs, country, etc.  So far so good, right? 

Here comes the problem or better say MY problem.  Lately he's been getting into Korean and Japanese.  He'd play them in his car, he'd sing them around the house (with invented lyrics of course), he'd download them like crazy... get the point.  It's actually good as he has a very, very wide range of gusto when it comes to music.   He IS a music lover, not to mention he sings quite well.  But one day, the chong-chong (my description of asian-non-filipino-songs) songs just got into my nerves and I burst.

Told him that I am getting jealous annoyed of the songs already.  Hubby, with a surprised and confused face said "what? why?" 

Told him, you are married to a Filipina and not Korean.  Hubby was like "uh... what?"

Told him, why didn't you just find yourself a Korean so you can get yourself drunk all the time with Korean music and then maybe your Korean wife could even teach you the song.  Hubby was like, "it's just that right now, I don't have the Filipino songs in my phone.."  with an even more confused face.

That fired me even more.

Told him, "You are married to a Filipina and you listen to Korean and Japanese songs but NOT Filipino songs.  Why is that?" Not true as he already knows a number of Filipino songs but lately, he's just getting obsessed (my subjective description) with playing Korean songs.  Hubby was out of words for a good while but trying to stifle his chuckle.

He tried to remind me that we already have a wide collection of Filipino songs and he'd even play them at home. 

I was like, yeah because I am at home and you do that for me.  For ME to listen to the Filipino songs but on your phone, on your car, all you have is everything Asian songs but Filipino songs.  It does show what is your favorite, your priority. I know... hormonal. That's me.

He tried to explain some more but he just kept burrying himself under my wrath.

Don't think that all these happened one fine afternoon and ended there.  No, days and days, I get so moody everytime we are in the car and he'd start pluggin in Korean songs (even Little Spanish Pinay has started learning the song).  One day, while we were outside enjoying the pool and the sun, he started singing his favorite Korean song and I snapped and said "Will you stop the friggin' singing?"  I immediately regretted my attitude.  But I have a reason and I am THE offended (based on my hormonal state).

The next day, when we got in the car, he started playing Filipino song from his phone plugged in to the car.  And what do you know,  it ticked me off too.  What? Why? Because now, he's putting Filipino songs only because I reacted and made a show out of it.   I kept telling him there's really no sense for him to redeem himself anymore by playing Filipino songs.

Ok, crucify me now.  I KNOW I am totally being shallow.   I can't fight my hormones. They are the boss of me! 

My poor husband?  Never got mad with all my nonsense.  He's a saint and I'm the bi-atch of the house. 

The. End.

Monday, July 16, 2012

DIY: Fabric Hanging Bookshelf

In the midst of too much work and drama and some drainage problem around our household,  I tried to work on some DIY project that hopefully would make me feel like there's still something we are able to accomplish inspite of all the hullaabaloos.

 I've been eyeing this project for quite some time now but couldn't really dedicate enough time to sit down and start on it.  But then slowly, slowly, like that tortoise in the story  The Tortoise and The Hare,  I managed to win the race!  Thanks to Pinterest and to this lady who posted a great tutorial.

I'm not posting my own tutorial as really, I just followed whatever is in the link above plus, some improvisation.   If any one has some questions though with anything, just haller and yours truly will try her best to help :)

So here is my own version.  The fabric is from a curtain that was on sale.  From €24.99 to €5. Score!  One whole curtain was already more than enough for these two hanging book shelf. 

I downloaded pictures of animal silhouettes from the internet, printed on a paper and then traced them on an old shirt I have.  I then just pasted them using fabric glue.  I love the result! But man, cutting animal silhouettes on a fabric is a tough job. 

Ok, some revelation... see the big red arrow above? Not cool.  That shows how my sewing skill needs tons of practice.  But I am turning a blind eye on that as I am currently too lazy to correct this booboo.

And now for my favorite part.  See the embellisments on the side?  Rolled paper magazine, what else!

Coz, this? Is ugly.  I bought long curtain rod and just cut them in half.  So the result is this ugly thing.  They badly need some eblishment but the ones that are ready-made from the store are either too big or way too expensive for my budget-conscious self.  So I think and think and think of what to do... and my trusty magazine papers were the answer!

I was thrilled with the result!  They are quite simple and pretty enough to be considered as embellishments heh :)  I am contemplating though whether to paint them green or not... I'll probably try and see how it looks much later. 

So there ya go!  I hope you like 'em like I do ;-)

Next project should be something to put on that blank part of the wall.  Any idea for a DIY?

Monday, July 9, 2012

This is it. I'm nearly Breaking Down

Ok. Not just nearly. I did break down once last week.  It's tougher than I thought it would be.  The daycare thing.  Yes, the daycare thing. 

The first 2 days have been fine as Little Spanish Pinay stayed there for only 2 hours.  There were no tears.  Only serious face. Then another 2 days of 3-4 hours.  Starting Wednesday last week, the crying has started.  She'd tell me in the mornings that she doesn't want to go to daycare and it breaks my heart.  It scratches my soul. 

The hardest part is when I see her trying to stop her cries everytime we arrive to the daycare.  She doesn't cry out loud nor scream nor nothing of that sort.  But she has tears in her eyes while she'd tell me "Please mami, I don't want to go." She's trying to be strong but I do feel her anxieties and sadness and that's breaking me apart even more.

I know it could be worse.  She's being a really good trooper considering that she didn't have much of the needed adjustment period.  But every morning that she'd plea not to go to daycare, I get a big knot in my stomach. 

I know people tell me that it'll be good for her as she will learn a lot of things from there, etc... but that is where the hardest part comes in.  I am not really one of those who believe that toddlers need to be in the daycare to learn certain things or to learn how to socialize with other kids, etc.  And so the more that it gets harder for me to accept that she has to go.

For me, daycares are not a necessity for kids but more of a necessity for parents - for working moms like me.  And that's where the guilt really rubs me off.

I am very much aware too that it won't help if I dawdle with these thoughts but I can't ignore either that it's taking a toll on me.  "It's tough to be a parent" is an underestatement.  And all the more that it gets tougher when parents are strained by their limited resources or choices to be able to give their children what they know is best for them.

Oh well, I know Little Spaish Pinay will be more than fine.  It's tough but this too, shall pass.
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