Officially Filipina

Little Spanish Pinay is now officially Filipina! Our passports arrived yesterday. Yay!

Always cracks me up to see her passport photo. Put on a name plate in it, and she'd pass as a baby suspect for a crime. LOL.

Much Awaited Friday, Baptism To Look Forward To, and a Raffle To Win

This week has been quite a long week for me.  Between work, house and Little Spanish Pinay, I've got my back really sore and my arms and legs feeling like they were used as punching bags.  I can't express enough how thankful I am it's Friday already.

We went to mass yesterday together with my mother-in-law.  Little Spanish Pinay was really behaved the entire mass. The only thing is that she was distracting the couple seated behind us because she doesn't stop smiling at them.  She had them crazy over her.  I kept hearing muffled laughter and whispers (talking to little Spanish Pinay) from the couple behind us while the mass is on-going.  

After the mass, as we were preparing to go out, Little Spanish Pinay in my left arm, me talking to hubby on my right, I suddenly heard squeals from old ladies in my left.  When I turned my head, there were like 4-5 old ladies crowding Little Spanish Pinay... they were all enchanted by her.  Look at her causing such a commotion. 

One old lady fascinated me when she asked me if Little Spanish Pinay is a Filipina. There are not much Filipinos where we live... I actually just know one Filipina apart from me and Little Spanish Pinay of course.  So people here are not really very oriented with how Filipinos look like.  I am often mistaken as Chinese or Japanese. (As if, in Asia there's only China and Japan... whatever).  So I was surprised when the old lady nailed down right into the spot that Little Spanish Pinay and I are Filipinas.  Of course I answered yes with a beaming smile.

After saying hasta luego (see you later) to all the new fans of Little Spanish Pinay, we went straight to talk to the priest to inquire about baptism.  We're planning to have Little Spanish Pinay's baptism on the first Sunday of December!  I'm excited :)  We were originally planning to have this last August but circumstances didn't gave us the chance.  September and October were crossed out too due to some other family matters.  I don't like the month of November either so, December, it will be.  I was baptized on the 25 of December, hence, it will be really nice if Little Spanish Pinay will be baptized on the same month... besides, December is a really nice month.  Very festive.

Finally, it's my first time to join a raffle from a blog... so let's see my luck.  I'm crossing fingers (and everything that I have in twos lol)... the prize is a pair of really cute booties from a fave store TeoYLeo.

Here's the link to the blog.  The raffle is to celebrate having 200 followers.  Yay for la mamacontracoriente!

Saint's Day

Here in Spain, people get to receive two more gifts in a year aside from birthday and Christmas. There's also gift giving on the day of Three Kings. Although with more practical family, everybody would just agree on exchanging gifts on either Christmas day or Three Kings.

And then there's what they call Saint's Day. It is very common for people here to have a name based on the name of a Saint. So the feast day of that Saint whose name is carried upon by someone is also celebrated aside from the birthday. Then the person gets to receive gifts! How fun.

So why am I talking about this. Well, since in the Philippines we don't celebrate this, I do not have a Saint's day. In my family-in-law's house, they do celebrate this. Obviously each one has their Saint's day except me. Everyone including Little Spanish Pinay. I feel marginated. Hmpf.

Good thing we have given Little Spanish with two names. And what a very good cooincidence since her padrino's birthday (Sept 30) is St. Sofia's feast day! So, we'll get to celebrate this day twice as fun. Yay!

::padrino is godfather in Spanish. 

 

As of me, maybe I'll start to look for my own Saint... Our Lady of Lourdes maybe. That's Febuary 11. Now it's just a matter of getting people used to this idea. Or not. Sigh.



5 Months and a Late Post

So Tala is 5 moths now! Actually, she's 5 months and 2 weeks. As usual my blog post is late. One reason is because I am tremendously busy nowadays and the only way I could write is while breastfeeding Little Spanish Pinay and not working of course. Thanks to a little gadget called smart phone. I write with it, save the blog as draft and then just proofread and/or add photos as needed whenever I have time to sit in front of my laptop. Another reason is that I got diverted with other blog topics while I was composing this one.

Anywhooo... Tala is 5 moths and a half! How cool is that? Time passes by reeaally fast. She's more and more precious every day. Me being proud is an understatement. A stage mom in the making. She gets attention just everywhere we go. And she loves attention. Oh, she loves it!  So does mami! She's so willing to give her sweetest toothless smile to people showing funny faces and silly sounds just to make her smile. And she rarely disappoints.  It's funny how people are in front of babies.  Baby-talk using high-pitched voice or that of when you inhale helium, silly smiles, distorted faces... picture what I'm talking about? I am one of those people.  It's just that making a baby smile is such a warm, fun and satisfying feeling.

What I don't get is that sometimes there are people (like strangers) that would blow on Little Spanish Pinay's face... Uhm what is awkward? That is! Not to mention a little unhygienic too. Hellooo! Virus! They think that's funny for babies? Or funny for them as babies would suddenly close their eyes.  Ok, babies are cute when they blink their eyes many times... and I do that to Tala, I confess.  But I'm the mom, not a stranger! And then, as I hold Tala I get a fare share of the stranger's breath being blown. Flips me out. Where do they get the idea that babies enjoy smelling someone else' breath? Flips me out. And where do they get that much confidence to honor another stranger of smelling their breath? Flips me out!!!

Soooo I got diverted again. I meant to talk about Tala's 5 months milestones and not strangers' breath. So here we go.

* She has started learning how to sit by herself.
* Started eating mashed fruits (apple and pear).  Just a few bites though.  We're just letting her experience different taste.  So she's not yet really into solids.
* She is talking A LOT! She says ma-ma, pa-pa, ba-ma, ba-ba, bui-mi, something like niw-niw and makes a lot of rare sounds.
* She has mastered grabbing hair with such precission and speed. (Grabs other things too but she especially like to grab and pull hair).
* She has mastered rolling over a little before she turned five months.
* She started doing some efforts to crawl. She'd end up crawling like those military soldiers but would just move few centimeters.
* She now knows her name is Tala. She responds and turns her head whenever she hears her name being called.
* She kisses her papi and I. Specially me ;-). It's like she's thanking me for the yummy milk heehee.
* She loves to hug.
* She's full of smiles and laughter. A happy baby definitely!
* She loves to be in her high-chair with us in the dining table.
* She loves now-mami's-gone-now-mami's -back game.
* She learned that dropping or throwing things is fun.
* She raises her arms whenever she wants to be picked up.
* Oh, and hear this.... She's getting more hair! :-D

Whew! That's quite a list. She's growing up so fast and she's demonstrating a lot of changes every day. She gets new facial expressions, new mouth movements, new sound.... in short, something different everyday. Always something to look forward everyday. And it's going to be like that for the next 5 decades(or more) of my life.

Just woke up. Good Morning, mami!



Kiss Me

I never thought I'd ever kiss someone a thousand times a day like I do for Little Spanish Pinay. We spend hours and hours together (like 24 hours haha!) a day that not a single minute would pass that I wouldn't give her multiple kisses. I'm not a mushy person nor showy with regards to my feelings about people...not used to saying sweet words either.

But sure do people change.

If you have a husband that is ultra mushy, mega sweet, and super duper affectionate, tendency is, you'd realize how wonderful is the world of kissy, kissy, embrace, embrace, caress, caress, sweet words all day. And you'll become one of them. In my family, we are not very expressive of our feelings for each other, though we know that if any one from the family is hurt by any one from the outside, they'll soon meet their Creator. Yes, that's how we love each other. We kill for each other! Like a mafia.

Serioulsy now. With my husband, I am expressive.  He's is really contagious...not a single day would pass that I never felt like bombarding his face with kisses or putting on my puppy eyes demanding for his kisses (I know, I know, ewwww).

Now with Tala, it's just tremendous. I'm double, no triple, addicted with kisses. It's a scandal. If she can speak already, I know she wouldn't stop complaining.  Or if she's already walking, she'd run away from me the moment she sees my lips starting to form like a flower bud.  In the meantime, she is but a helpless 5-month old precious baby and couldn't even walk yet to escape from me, so I'd take advantage. And as sure as the sun rises in the East, I'd take advantage of this every single moment. As one day I know she'll be off on her own (man, I'm getting emotional now just imagining that).

If my siblings would hear me with these words, they won't stop teasing me... My siblings... That's how they show their affection. Call you with funny names, tease you until you cry... That's how we are with each other. No kissy kissy moments. Except me with my youngest and only brother. He was my baby. Was. As he is not baby anymore!!! He has his own baby now...at 15 yrs old. NO, STOP. Not baby like a child but baby like you know, sweetheart. Darn. But that's a different story.

The story now is me addicted to giving kisses to my Little Spanish Pinay. How I've converted to a mushy, clingy, oooey, goooey mami. I think for now she's enjoying all the attention and affection that mami is giving her. In fact sometimes she demands more! The best for me? Sometimes she kisses me back (on her own drooly way) and/or caresses my face with her little fingers. Those are my cure-all-tiredness-sleeplessness moments. I really do think she has learned to kiss. Would that be too early? I don't know. At least it feels like a kiss. Sometimes when I carry her facing forward, she'd scoop my face with her hands sideways and then she'd turn her head, open her mouth and pull my face towards her mouth. And she does that slowly. Not like her monster moments when she attacks me head straight with her mouth open and then bite! So it does feel like a kiss. Or other times I have her standing on my lap facing me, she'd put her two hands on each of my cheeks, smiling with her amazed eyes, she'd lean over with mouth open and there goes what feels like a kiss. Every time she does that, I melt like a woman's face full of makeup under the scorching heat of the sun. Ehrm, that is icky. I'll just use melt like an ice cream. And when the time comes she'd say in words that she loves me?

I will explode with pure bliss. Like a balloon that suddenly touched a hot bulb.

How Could I forget?

I've noticed how parenthood seems to be more and more complicated nowadays.  There's just too many things out there to read, to listen to, to consider.  Different methods have sprung out confusing many parents what to follow and what to avoid.  I wonder how parents of many, many years ago have gotten by this so called parenthood without these modern day methods of parenting. Yet we are all doing fine.  

I, for one, was almost carried by the tide.  I only want the best for my Little Spanish Pinay and hearing one thing here and there that promises good results for parenting, is something hard to dodge.  Especially if they came from well-meaning close people around. But Little Spanish Pinay is wiser than me. She has taught me that what's still best is my own instinct guided by her own instinct. We are connected and I only needed to listen to her as she knows how to communicate with me. She knows what she needs and what will really help her.  All I need is to listen to her and follow her signs.  

I remember during her few weeks of life,  I was caught by surprise of this tremendous realization that I do not know what I am doing and what I suppose to do.  Not realizing that I was just too caught up by a false image of what a good parenting should be.  I was confused and was lost touch of my own instinct.  All because of what people say about the taboos on taking care of your baby; **Do not take the baby in your arms every time they cry, they will learn to manipulate you**, **Do not breastfeed whenever the baby asks for it, you'll become a human pacifier**, and **Do not ever, ever put the baby to sleep on your own bed, it will be hard to send her on her own bed even after 15**.  I was obsessed on making her sleep for hours, making her nap various times in a day as it seems like when she does, it's like a badge of good parenting.  But alas, Tala is not the model baby they always describe in books or magazines.  She is an individual with her own pace and own rhythm.  I felt frustrated and defeated.  Until one time I just did what felt right to do while she fussed.  Not minding whether it was what people say to be right or not.  I noticed she was happier and I was more at peace. Things suddenly made more sense to me. I felt more in tune with my instinct that I kept on suppressing because I lacked trust in me.  And then I remembered my mom and how she has taken care of us.  I remember her taking care of my younger siblings and her ways were never like what modern day parenting is about.  How could I forget?  

My mom carried us in her arms everytime we asked for it.  Crying it out was never in my mom's vocabulary.  My mom breastfed us without looking at the clock. She continued to breastfeed us even after we learned to bite.  She continued to breastfeed us as long as we wanted.  My sister was breastfed until she was 3.  We slept with my parents from newborn till I can't remember when.  We were never left on our own to teach us to learn how to console ourselves and put ourselves to sleep.  But my mom never felt manipulated.  No one of us had separation anxieties as we grow.  No one had problems sleeping on their own later on.  No one turned out to be a headache of the society.  No one had mental problems. How could I forget how my own mom has perfectly raised us?  

It's sad how society's trying to impose how children should be raised and treated.  Sometimes it feels like it is geared towards separating the baby from the mom as soon as possible.  **Send the baby to their own crib as early as possible so they'd learn to sleep on their own**, **Send the baby to her own room for better intimacy with the partner**, **Send the baby to daycares as early as possible so moms can have their time for themselves or for couples to continue living like a couple**, etc. etc.  What is it with society nowadays?  Why are we so scared about turning our babies into a very attached child?  Why are we so afraid to love our children in a way our hearts dictate and not with the set of rules professionals and experts invented?

I am so glad I got reconnected to my own instinct.  I am so glad it didn't took a while till I get to realize again that I have a perfect example of a good parenting.  All I need is to close my eyes and picture my mom taking care of us when we were a lot younger....

It Was Just a Dream Before.... Until Now.

5 months tomorrow.  Seems a lot already.  I can still remember when I was pregnant and couldn't stop wondering how Little Spanish Pinay would look like.  Will she have her papi's long eyelashes?  Will she have my long and slim feet? Would she have her papi's perfect nose?  I dreamt a lot about her.  I once had a very vivid dream about bathing her.  She was very beautiful in my dreams.  And in my dreams, I was bathing her in such great agility of mine, such expertise. Smiling while singing a very lovely song. I was like this perfect mami dressed like I'm going to the church and all made up.  She was also smiling while I was bathing her.  She was very calm and enjoying this unique and serene experience with me.  If bathing a baby is a sport, I was an olympic champion.  Unbeatable.  And so, it is called a dream.  In my reality, everything is on the contrary, except the part where Little Spanish Pinay was very beautiful (even more than in my dream) and smiling. Smiling with eyes wide open wanting to hold everything around her and to put them in her mouth. The water, the bubbles, the sides of the bath tub, my soapy hands, etc. Me? Splashes of water all over, sweat on the forehead, back aching, strands of hair escaping from my pony tail, but yes, singing with our background music of Dion's Brahm's lullaby. Well, at least trying to sing while yelling "Tala" in between as she try to burry her head forward in the water hoping she can have a taste of those yummy looking bubbles. Then I'd try to smile at her and sing again with head bended sideways just to yell her name again as she twists and tries to escape my grip -- all as an effort to make bath time like the one in my dream.  But alas, the dream just remained a dream...

Then again, it's about her enjoying her bath time.  She does seem to enjoy it more and more so that's what matters.  As of me, I'd keep singing every bath time.  Maybe I won't become an olympic medalist for bathing a baby but perhaps I'll become at par with Celine Dion. Hah!

Major, Major Ouch

While it's fun to see Tala, our Little Spanish Pinay, start to learn so many things, it's no fun when she learns to play different tricks with the boobies. It hurts big time, I say! Lately it seems like she's doing her own experiment about the boobies' elasticity. She'd turn her head sideways as suddenly there a lot more interesting things around her than the case at hand. Ya think she's releasing my nipples when she's turning away? Nah-ah. Still tightly latched on her cute mouth! Other times, she'd arch her back forward then pulling her head backwards while still latched on a booby. I don't know what's that all about but it's no joke, it's a major, major ouch! And she even seem to be enjoying that. After reaching the booby's elasticity limit, she'd lose the latch and get a little surprise. She'd open her eyes so wide and put on an excited smile and then would try to latch back on while moving her head from side to side. She's crazy. She's got that really crazy-eyes-wide-open-mischievous-smile on her face.  I haven't even mentioned that she's also now into biting. She hasn't started teething yet but when she bites, I see stars circling around my head. I don't want to imagine how it'll be when she started teething. Oh Lord, protect me. Good thing she has learned to like taking my milk from a feeding bottle so then I get to rest a little bit from this pulling ang biting. But sometimes it's not just the milk she's after but also the warmth and comfort of mami's arms and well, what else but the real thingies. So I take her in my arms and offer her one of the twins.

I am seriously thinking I now belong to the world of martyrdom.

crazy, crazy Tala

Confessions of a Mom

I breastfeed on demand. That means whenever and wherever Tala wants to. So that means, in our world, there's no such thing as feeding every 2 or 3 hours. *GASP!*. I never let her cry "so she can learn to console herself". If she cries for like 2 minutes its because it is almost impossible for me to take her in my arms at once. If she wants to be carried by mami, I willingly oblige. *Another GASP*. Lastly, we co-sleep. *DOUBLE GASP!*. There, I've said it. In this modern day of formula-and-scheduled-feeding, Ferber-method-of-"teaching"-your-baby-how-to-sleep-alone and co-sleeping-is-a-bad-bad-habit, these are worth confessing about. I'd get all sorts of comments like "you're going to spoil that baby!" Or "She's going to manipulate you!" Or "She'll never learn to be independent!" Or "She will never sleep through the night" Or "You'll never be able to send her to her own bed even after 15!". Guess what, I. Don't. Care. At. All.

If she wants to be latched on me all night to feel warmth and security from her mami, she got it. I'd cuddle her all night until she tells me: mami, I like your embraces but you may now let me move around the bed. If she's on her stroller and we're walking outside and she cries for my arms, no second thoughts. I'd carry her as long as my arms have the strength to do so. Is that spoiling? Then let her be spoiled. When she's upset and cries as she feels something is not right around her and she needs mami to make it right, I'll definitely be there to try to make it right. My husband and I attend to her every cry not just because it's hard to ignore her 10,000 decibels cry but because that's what feels right for us. Are we being manipulated? No I don't believe that. And I won't believe that in that still developing brain of this tiny, very fragile little person, there's conspiracy going on to make her parent's life miserable on purpose. That is just pure bull.

What Little Spanish Pinay needs now is love, attention and care. No disciplining. No training to be independent. At this age, she IS dependent to her parents especially to her mom. Because that is just how it is. Designed by nature. Independence will come later in her life and for sure by that time, I am going to wish she'd still be a baby. So why would I want to hurry and push her to be independent now? No can do.  Discipline will be administered on the right age, the right moment, the right avenue.  Not now.  

So if someone asks me if Tala is already sleeping through the night, my reply will be: "Oh, even better than that, we cuddle through the night."

Thirty First and Some Other Firsts

I'm celebrating my 31st birthday today and It's my first birthday to celebrate as a full-fledged mom! It's been both tough and phenomenal. Mostly phenomenal. It hasn't been very easy for me but every tear I shed is being compensated by a thousand joy brought by this so called bundle of joy. Two days ago, Little Spanish Pinay said mama for the first time. I was sooo elated. I was trying to put her to sleep and was feeding her. But after feeding from one breast, she dislatched and wanted to play. I pretended I wasn't interested and didn't pay attention to her. She started blabbering, almost like singing. Then suddenly she said it. Mam-a. I looked at her and she continued blabbering. Then again... Mam-a. She smiled seemingly pleased with the new sound she just learned. I immediately grabbed my phome and started a voice recording. She repeated the word mama for like three times in between ahhha-aahs and mmmbbbffs. I rushed to call my husband who was downstairs watching US Open match. I told him Tala said mama. He couldn't believe it. So I played my proof. He was all so proud with her little one. But felt defeated at the same time. We were kind of having a bet for Tala's first word and obviously, I won! Har. Har. Happy birthday to me :-D