We're Hurt!

We are currently facing some obstacles with the lactation.  Little Spanish Pinay has bitten me while she was nursing a couple of days ago and has left La Boobie hurt and bruised.  It's really painful right now to nurse her on my left boob because of the small wound I got from the biting.  I am trying not to nurse her on the left boob as often, I can't stand the pain.  The result is that I get too much milk on the left boob that it hurts... I have to pump out milk from it so I can give it to her in a feeding bottle.  The problem is my little rascal doesn't want anything less than the boobie.  So, there are times that I can't hep but nurse her on the left boobie and suck up the pain.  I tried to use a nipple protector but since it is silicon, LSP played with it and bit! I think I my stomach went upside down with the pain.  So no, nipple protector is not an option.  

4 teeth are becoming 4 big challenges for me.  I fear that one day I will completely cede.  I really pray that La Boobie recovers soon.  It is true that she has stopped biting me these days.  She seemed to learn that mami is hurt with the action and it's not good.  But then the wound is still fresh and with her 2 new upper front teeth, the nipple kind of brushes off with the teeth while she nurse... and that's really uncomfortable! Plus since it is also bruised, the sucking motion is almost unbearable.  

I do hope we recover soon.... just imagining weaning her earlier than what I have planned pains me even more than LSP's biting.

2 + 2 = 4 And A Bigger Ouch

The tooth fairy has beaten Santa to sending her gift for Little Spanish Pinay. Two more front teeth is peeping out of her upper gums. That explains why these past few nights, she's been waking up from time to time bothered by something. She's even more clingy as well during the day and easily gets cranky. But now, those pearly white twins are already out so she's feeling a lot better and was oh so ready for noche buena!!

As of me, I've got a couple of gifts too from the bag fairy... They're black but not pretty at all and they're annoyingly hanging below my eyes!!!

Oh and I have another bonus... when LSP gets too excited or wants to experiment how loud I can yell? She'd bite me and I'd see stars doing merry-go-round on my head. Ouch!!!!

4 front teeth at 8 months

Merry Christmas!!

Santa Baby

May the home of each family be warmed with love for one another glory for the child who was born in a manger and became our savior.

and don't forget to smile!

8 Months

4 months to go and she's turning 1 year old...just 4 months! Seriously? I swear it feels like she was just 4 months yesterday. I can't keep up with time, see just 2 more days and before Christmas and still incomplete with gifts! If I continue to be like this, I'll definitely be left behind with 2010!

What I can't afford is to be left behind by Little Spanish Pinay's super fast development. Everyday is like a big step for her towards toddlerhood! I feel like I am not yet ready for toddlerhood.  I want to be there for her to support her and cheer her and console her with her frustrations. It's super exciting for us yet I feel a little bit anxious. She seems to be too much in a hurry to grow! One day she was too afraid to roll over and now she's all over the house.

She's now even able to pull herself to stand on her own. It was Dec 7 (7 months, 2 weeks and 1 day) when she first did it. She has learned on the same day to sit up from a crawling position.  She does it with lots of care and sometimes I feel like she's having a hard time and is tempted to help her.  But I know she must learn to master doing it by herself.  So the over protective mami in me must be suppressed.  She was with her papi while I was in the bathroom when she reached these big milestones. How would I forget that, it was also the same day and moment when she swallowed a piece of popped balloon! Hubby and I were soooo skeered! Good thing it came out after 2 days, otherwise, we'll be running to the emergency the following day. Now back to LSP standing on her own... she does that every single chance she gets. If there's something she can grab, she'd pull herself up. Even if it's just something lower than her, she'd manage to put her weight on it, support herself with one hand, stand, then raise one hand while she's bend forward a little bit. It's funny seeing her do that stunt. And she does seem to know that it's an achievement as everytime she's able to pull herself up, she'd have her mouth wide open with happiness. I wish I can snap her a picture doing that but I am too afraid to take my eyes off of her as it seems that she can fall off anytime. She was also into a pre-crawl position rocking back and forth for quite some time now. But then she'd plop back into her army crawl. I wondered if she'd really get herself to real crawling or would just pass it off and go directly to walking. But just 6 days shy of turning 8 months, she finally crawled on her hands and knees, butt up. I was able to record the very first moment she did it. I was all emotional, excited anmd nervous while she played the cool. 

She'd pull herself up anywhere she can grab her hands on. believe it or not, she's nursing in this picture!

She's also making good use of her index finger and thumb to pick up things. She passes things from one hand to the other. I could eat up all those cute baby fingers. I love the way they explore my face, and my hands. She'd have a face of a real discoverer - full of fascination and interest. But then those little nails can sometimes get all violent...she loves to scratch! Cutting her nails? Is like sending a cat to have a bath!

Impossible.

She's more and more alert of her surroundings more than ever. Every thing gets her attention. Every music sends her to rock her body back and forth if seated, and jump up and down if she's standing. She does that an instant a music starts to play. I love that she loves music.

She cracks everybody up with her new and old antiques. She has recently started sporting this super cute smile that compose of closing her eyes, smiling with her chin put a little bit forward showing off her only two front teeth and nose crinkled. She loves to wave goodbye or wave hello. She loves to raise her right hand up high as if reaching for something, closing and opening her hand then bending her head backwards and arching her back. She also pretends to be angry or getting serious by raising her arms and suddenly putting them down on her chest - her own version of crossing the arms - and then making a short sound of hmm! Or sometimes she squeals or make harsh sounds with her throat, forehead frowned, eyes angered.  Big theater, I tell you. She also has recently learned to clap her hands. Her claps doesn't make sound but those are obviously very close attempt of clapping the hands.  Soon she'll be dancing flamenco with her abuelo.  She's soooo adorable with all these little tricks. And what she loves the most is having an audience. The more we laugh at her the more she does her tricks. Such a performer.

Didn't I say this smile is super cute?

That crinkled nose is so delectable!

She has grown even more fond of her papi. She'd know when her papi arrives home from work. She'd go very excited waiting for her papi to appear by the door of the room. And once papi appeared? She'd happily crawl towards her papi in the speed of light. Her papi would scoop her up and LSP would inspect his face and body with excitement and curiosity as if she hadn't seen her papi in months. I remember when I was young. My siblings and I would race ourselves running towards our papa everytime he comes home. We'd yell "Papa!!!!!" and shower him with kisses and hang our arms around her neck (then ask for pasalubong or "gifts"). My mama, smiling, would always say that we act as if we haven't seen our papa for a long time and my papa would always say that these take her tiredness after a day-long work. And now LSP is doing much the same for her own papi.

She's also more social now with strangers. Not that she would want to go with them (she's very smart and careful ;-) she loves to stay safe in the arms of mami or papi), but she'd smile and babble to them and would even want to touch their face.

What she has never come to doing is playing with her feet.  I've seen babies by 4 months, like exploring their feet and putting them in her mouth while in a lying position.  I was waiting for her to do that and even playing with her feet with her so she'd pay attention to them.  She would just laugh and play with me but she never did it by herself.  She explores her hands but not her feet.  She probably thinks their icky? bleh.

Lastly, 2 more teeth are already peeping from her gums.  Upper front teeth!  That explains the agitated sleep these past nights and the 2 bags my eyes are sporting.

Happy 8 months, my Little Spanish Pinay!

Oh, and happy 8 months of job well done, Las Boobies!

Late Night Thoughts

It's 2 and quarter in the morning. It must be the tea that I mistakenly drank. Hubby prepared a mint tea for me and a lady grey for him. I took the wrong cup and was too caught up with something that hubby and I were checking on the internet to notice that I was drinking hubby's tea. So now, the caffeine in it is probably hitting me. And when someone's unable to sleep the mind goes tappity-tap like a keyboard.

It made me ponder about the weekend that has just passed by. How I've waited for this weekend to come to get a little bit more rest and yet it just passed me by like a bullet train.  The weekend has been one of those ordinary and quiet weekends. We had lunch at my in-laws' place. With Little Spanish Pinay though, the ordinary weekends has started to become extraordinary. The pre-lunch and lunch time is always full of laughter and giggles. She has become the center of fun in the house. And she does know how to give fun. She's full of antiques that sends off everyone to LOL.

As I look at her abuelo(grandfather) and abuela(grandmother), and how much happiness she is able to give to them, my heart gets filled with so much emotion. She loves to play with them. She squeals and wiggle her little legs in excitement. She shows off her antiques and the abuelos go crazy. And I just can't help but feel very proud. I am the mother of this little person that gives such a big joy to our family.

This little person that is sleeping beside me as I type these thoughts hoping that in the process, sleep will knock, is now the biggest source of my strength and inspiration together with my other half. She's smiling from time to time as angels play with her in her dreams. She has fulfilled my dream. Our dream. How I love to sniff her breath and play with her little hand while she nurse. I love the way she says mah-mah when she cries and calls for me. It's just too darn cute. It makes me think that she already associates the word mama to me. I love to see her get busy on her own, talking alone and playing with her toys but then looking at me from to time and then smile seeing that I am there looking at her.  She's my 24x7 company. She'd climb on me, hug me, kiss me, search for Las Boobies by pulling off my shirt's neckline (yeah, she knows where the pot of gold hides), she talks to me with her own language and I pretend to understand, She's here with me.  For me.  Constantly.  And I am here for her too.  Constantly.  Even after she doesn't need me to anymore.  Suddenly everything else has become secondary to seeing her smile and be happy and healthy and safe.

 This is motherhood.

trying to escape from my sniffing while giggling

Separation Anxiety

A couple of weeks ago, Little Spanish Pinay seems to have entered separation anxiety period. She's constantly looking for me. When I was out for a few while and be back, she'd suddenly cry like as if she's the poorest baby on earth. It's as if I was away for months.  She'd be practically all over me. Every nursing time is like the first nursing time after so many days. As if she was starved for weeks! She'd greedily grasp La Boobie and gobble up my milk with full of anxiousness and ahrm ahrm noise. It's funny really. Sometimes it's also painful as she'd carelessly bite me and/or pinch El Nipple becuase of too much grabbing. She's like literally milking me with her hand. Crazy, I tell you!  She's also demanding more feeding time at night... or just want to be held and have Las Boobies near her mouth.

mami, don't leave me...

What I am liking (and I don't mind getting used to) about this separation anxiety thing is that she's even more affectionate to me. I always get big hugs and wet kisses from her. Her eyes glow everytime she sees me. Those eyes remind me of hubby's.  From the first time we met until now that we're going for a 4yrs being married.  I have a husband and daugther that adores me.  A luxury, I'd say.  I can't even start to imagine what I did so great to be adored by these two beautiful persons.  Ok, I got carried away a little bit there... so going back...

What is this separation anxiety for babies really? According to Dr. William Sears:
"In babies' minds, Mother is a part of themselves and they are part of Mother. Mother and baby are one, a complete package. These babies feel anxious and frightened when not with Mother. These emotions are normal feelings inside a little person who knows he needs the presence of his mother to thrive and to feel complete."

Separation anxiety is when the baby realises the mom is a separate being. This normally occurs at around 7-12 months of age. At this period, babies do not understand the fact that although something is not seen, it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. So moms are out of their sight, they think that they are totally gone, and thus the fear and stress they feel of being separated from the only person that can make them complete.

This is a very normal behavior and in fact part of a very important emotional development process. Separation anxiety is part of normal child development and is actually something positive ::although the clinginess of the baby can drain one's energy:: This shows that the baby has a healthy attachment to the mom. As Dr Sears puts it, "Loud separation protests reveal a capacity for forming deep attachments - if they didn't care deeply, they wouldn't fuss so loudly when separated. This capacity is the forerunner of intimacy in adult relationships."

So it seems we are already in this phase. Little Spanish Pinay would suddenly seek for me even she's being held by his father whom she adores a lot. She'd cry for me and would utter ma-ma ma-ma nonstop. She's too darn cute when she does that. And her father would act all jealous because LSP contantly calls for my arms.

It can be overwhelming.  Not because I have to be with her all the time, no.  I love every minute that I am with her but what's overwhelming is the thought that I can't be with her as much as I want and do other chores at the same time.  I try no to worry about the household chores but sometimes, it just can't be helped.  Not to mention that I still have a full-time work that is equally demanding.  But as I've said, as long as she is happy, the rest is secondary... so help me repeat the chant... as long as she is happy, the rest is secondary...

I've attended to each of her demands and needs of being held and attended and nursed. As much as I can.  I tried to tell her in actions and in words that the phase she's undergoing right now is normal, that there's nothing to worry about and that mami will be with her all the way through. 

This week, I notice that she's getting passed this separation anxiety period.  She's spending more and more time playing and willing to be with someone else other than me.  Last Wednesday, for the first time since her first month, we left her for a couple of hours with her abuelos (grandparents).  Hubby and I went for grocery shopping and when we went back to pick her up, she was happily playing with her abuela.  She almost didn't notice me going inside the living room.  When she finally saw me, she smiled with the sweetest, sincerest happiness.  Yesterday, we left her again in the care of my mother-in-law and when we arrived back from our errands, she was seated on top of the dining table and I slowly sat in a chair beside her.  When she noticed me, she smiled as if saying "Hi there, mami!" and contined playing with some keys her abuela gave her.  She looked so grown up to me!  Silly me, I got watery eyes.

Maybe the separation anxiety will be back or perhaps it'll be a different type of anxiety.  Experts on attachement pareting say that everytime a baby crosses over an important phase of their development or learn something important (such as crawling, standing on their own, walking, teething, etc), they can get clingy and/or demand more feedings at night.  So everytime they go through these, the least we can do is let them meet their needs.  As soon as their needs are met, the sooner they'd overcome their anxieties.

And that's what hubby and I intend to do. 

Mi Wishlist FNAC

Porque la suerte a veces viene en el momento mas inesperado... participo en el concurso de FNAC!! :)
Because luck sometimes come in unexpected moment... I am participating in this contest by FNAC!! :)

El concurso se trata de publicar una entrada en el blog de los bloguer@s de la lista de las cosas que deseamos que nos regalen esta navidad y que el precio total no supera de 2011€.  Despues de publicar la entrada, hay que mandar un correo a wishlist@fnac.es con el link del enlace y datos del bloguer@.

The contest is to create an entry in the blogsite of each bloggers listing all the things they want to receive as gift this Christmas and that the total price will not be more than 2011€.  After publishing the entry,  an email must be sent to wishlist@fnac.es with the blog link and blogger's information.

A que si que es muy sencillote?
Very simple, ayt?

Este concurso tambien vale hacerlo con el facebook.

The contest is also valid for facebook.

Pues entonces alla voy por mi lista!!

So then here I go with my list!

Apple Funda para el iPad  40€

Iomega eGo SuperSpeed USB 3.0 500 GB color plata, Disco duro portátil PC  89€

Iomega eGo SuperSpeed USB 3.0 500 GB color rojo, Disco duro portátil PC    89€

Samsung UE-22C4010 LED de 22" Blanco   278,07€

TomTom Go Live 1005 GPS Europa 5"  314,95€

Sony DSC-TX9 Gris Cámara Compacta Digital  399€

Apple iPad con Wi-Fi y 3G 64 GB  793€

Pato. Libros de baño  5,23€

 TOTAL: 2008,06€

 Bueno, a ver si hay suerte...

Gracias a Ana de Creciendo con David, me he enterado de este concurso tan suculento!  Ya se que la probabilidad de que me toque es muy pero que muy escasa peeerrrrooooo quien sabe... y por probar, no hay nada que perder.  Ademas me he divertido buscando cosas en la pagina de FNAC que me interesan y por primera vez en mi vida, he hecho unas "compras" sin preocuparme de los precios!!  Bueno, se entiende, compras compras... pues en mi sueño... claro claro.  Pero bueno, ha sido divertido.  Las cosas que he elegido son cosas que me gustan pero que no las voy a comprar asi a primera vista... sino que me va a llevar tiempo en pensar y sobre todo en ahorrar para ellas (y probablemente acabo en no comprarlas)!!!! Ayyyy.
Thanks to Ana of Creciendo con David, I was informed by this oh so tempting contest!  I know that the probability of me winning is very very scarce bbbbuuuuuttt who knows... and for trying, there's nothing to lose.  Besides, I had fun checking out FNAC's website for things I am interested with and for the first time in my life, I "bought" things without worrying about the price!!  Well, bought things... in my dreams, yeah...  Anyways, it was fun.  The things that I chose are the things that I like bu won't buy then at first glance and will take me loooooong time to think about it and most of all to save for them (and most probably, I would end up not buying them at all)!!!! Sigh.

Y ya esta... ahora a cruzar los dedos y rezar! :)

And that's it.... now, let's cross fingers and pray! :)

Baptized

Little Spanish Pinay has received the sacrament of baptism on December 5, 2010 at San Pedro Apóstol Church, Ferrol. The same church where hubby and her madrina were baptized.

The ceremony was held by the parish priest Father Juan, a very good friend of hubby's mom. It was held after the 1pm Sunday mass. It was a very nice and intimate ceremony. There were no other babies to be baptized but LSP so it was quite a private one. The people left in the church were familes and relatives who came to witness this important religious ceremony for our precious daughter.

Ceremony has just started

LSP was nice and quiet at the beginning of the ceremony but when the priest started to put his hand on LSP's head, she was frightened and started crying. No, she started squealing...and wiggling trying to escape from the perceived danger. I already imagined this will happen. She cried herself until the end of the ceremony. But in the midst of her cries, I felt warmth. I felt more blessed. I was quite moved when the priest started saying "Bless this mother...".  I am indeed a mother. And I so felt it all the more and with God's blessing, I felt strengthened. With hubby beside me, the padrinos (godfather and godmother), the family and relatives witnessing the ceremony, the rest of my family and friends who were there in spirit, and the man in front of us that represents God, I WILL be a good mother to LSP. We WILL be the parents that LSP needs that she may become a good child of God.

Let's call this an artistic shot, shall we?

After the ceremony we headed to have a simple lunch with the family. It was a nice opportunity to gather my husband's small family together. The lunch was quite nice. LSP slept in the car going to the place of the banquet. She slept while we were having some drinks and the whole time while appetizers were being served and woke up just before the first plate was served. She was more in the mood after sleeping for about an hour. It was nice to see each of the family members talking to each other. I felt a little pang, remembering my own family back in Manila. It would be wonderful to have them here. But then I know they are with us in spirit in this important and very symbolic celebration.

The small banquet

Another very good friend of mine was not able to come either as she was stuck in Barcelona due to the unexpected strike of the air traffic controllers. She was missed but like my family in Manila, she was there in spirit.

We didn't have many good photos of the ceremony, that's too bad but what's important is that the LSP has received the sacrament of baptism and we were able to share this wonderful celebration with the people closest to us.

Her small cake! It says Happy Baptismal Day!

I also made something for the guests to remember this day

To our dear LSP, welcome to the Christian world. May the water that has blessed you and washed you from original sin, continue to bless you forever. 

Proud catholic family

Homemaker... Not

I have just realized I am not a good homemaker. Or I'm not a good multitasker mom and wife - you know, juggling between dough-earning work, work around the house and work that entails taking care of an infant. Or maybe I just need time till Little Spanish Pinay becomes older and lesser demanding and more independent. Or maybe I am not just a good homemaker. Period.

As I look around the house, that looks like a tornado has just passed through it, I can't help but just shake my head. How I admire working moms who can have all the time for everything and keep their houses spic and span. Really, I don't know how they do it but it's admirable and I hope I can kiss up to even just half of their level. To think, I work from home saving time from travelling to and from work and I have LSP's nanny who sometimes help me around the house whenever she can AND YET I still have a house that looks like it was turned upside down.

Ya know what I'd tell ya? It's LSP's fault! All her fault. That little-rascal-high-need-clingy-creature is such a handful. No, a handful is an understatement. She's a sackful. A sack of rice.

Just who can resist that pout?  I'd drop everything..

That doesn't change the fact that I am not a good homemaker, though. Sigh.Then again, there's something about the house that makes me feel at peace. LSP's toys are in every corner of the house. Some pieces of her clothes dangle in the sofa, some in the dining chair, others in her play pen. Unmade bed until 5pm or sometimes until the next day. Kitchen sink full of dirty dishes that can't seem to find their way to the dishwasher. Bathrooms not worth describing. Somehow these annoying disorder pleases me in an annoying way. ::Say, what??:: I'm not making any sense, am I? It's just that precisely these things tell me we have a baby at home. We're parents. Just as what we were praying for before. And she's healthy and beautiful inside and out. She's very special in so many ways. She's a high-need baby, constantly requiring that I pay attention to her.  When I'm holding her and my head is turned away from her? She'd scoop my head with one hand so I'd turn my head towards her and then she'd look me in the eyes with her equally big eyes and a sweet smile as if telling me to look at her and only her.   For that, I may have almost zero time for other things such as house chores and my priority right now is to satisfy her needs...attention, warmth, cuddles, food and what-have-you. As long as she is happy, the rest is secondary. Like a dirty hair.

when she´s happy, I´m happy

Cloth Diaper

When I was still pregnant at around 7months, I wrote this entry about disposable diapers.  When Little Spanish Pinay was born, hubby and I decided to really get serious about using cloth diaper. We still use disaposable diaper though from time to time (like if we need to go out the house for a long period of time and there'll be no comfortable place to wash the cloth diaper or if suddenly I ran out of clean cloth diaper). But I can say that the use of disposable diapers that takes 500 years to decompose is very minimal. I know we're not being completely green but let's say using 10 - 15 disposable diapers in a month is A LOT greener than a 200++.  I do what I can to help mother nature though I know I can still do more. Like totally ditching off the use of disposable diapers.  For now, the target is to only use disposable diapers in the event that cloth diaper is not available and/or whenever outside the house for a long period of time.

Now we're on to 7th moth of friendship with cloth diapers and I would say I am really pleased. Little Spanish Pinay never had rashes. No leaks at night and most of all, mother nature is happy! Just a small gesture to give back to our planet and at the same time, provide something good and beneficial to Little Spanish Pinay.

Beneficial it is because her butt stays away from contaminating chemicals of disposable diapers like polyacrylate that is being used to increase absorbency and trap liquid and convert it into gel-like substance. Even those ecological disposable diapers that recently came out in the market contain this toxic chemical among others. What ecological diapers differ from the regular ones is that they may not contain traces of an extremely toxic by-product of paper bleaching process and that the materials used are organic, but not completely free of toxic chemicals like polyacrylate. What's more is that according to study, children who uses cloth diapers can be potty trained earlier. I do not know about that for sure. Then again, my siblings and I never used disposable diapers... but I always remember my mom telling us that none of us had problems wetting our beds.  So it could be true.  We'll see with Little Spanish Pinay... sometimes it is also how parents train the baby.  It's always hard to kiss up to my mom's level when it comes to mothering :)

Some people say that cloth diaper spends lots of water and detergent so it's not totally green.  Personally, I'd say spending certain amount of water - a resource that is mostly renewable resource (not completely but still renewable) to wash is far greener than the waste material brought by disposable diaper that takes 500 years to decompose... there's just no comparison.

What's challenging at the beginning is to find the right type, system and number of cloth diapers that would suit our needs and budget.  We currently have 3 different types of cloth diapers and a number enough to last 3-4 days before loading them off to the washer.

pop-in bamboo cloth diaper

Cheaper diapers I found from ebay.  Not bad.

by cotton babies - same makers of bum genius but these ones are cheaper.  This is by far my favorite!

All of the cloth diapers we chose are one-size.  It can be used from newborn until potty trained.  There's an adjustment for the size for each growth phase.   I do hope that there'll be more and more moms that would opt to use cloth diapers.  It doesn't have to be 100% cloth diaper use all the time but just minimizing the use of these highly contaminating products can be a big help to our dear mother nature.

LSP happy with her flip cloth diaper