Old McMami Had Enough Ee I Ee I Oh!

With a poop-poop here, and a poop-poop there. 

Here a poop, there a poop

Everywhere a poop-poop

Today is Tala's pooping-everywhere day.  She was all quiet in her bouncer and suddenly made funny sounds.  Her face was funny with all the effort she's been doing.  I let her finish her business.   She took a good 5 minutes before her face shows some relief from the serious business she's been doing.  I took her out the bouncer and prepared to change her.  Since she was being breastfed, her poop is watery.  Always.  But never this huge quantity!  As I laid her down on the sofa with a changer mat underneath, her poop was squished up to her back so her shirt was stained with poop.  I held her feet, put them up, cleaned her tush and removed the nappy slowly.   I don't know how long Tala was in that feet-up position but she seemed to be enjoying it.  She was just quiet with her hands together while eyes locked on me.  I feel like she was observing my desperate-diaper-changing abilities! 

And did she test me even more?  Oh yes, she did.  With a wipe on a hand, I leaned closer to her tush making sure everything was cleaned up, I suddenly noticed her tush crunching and before my brain processed what was about to happen, there goes more poop splashed out.  She did such a big effort that I had poop on the sofa, poop on the changer mat,  poop on the floor, poop on my hand, poop on my thigh and most fortunately, poop on my face!  I was tongue-tied for a second and then I let out a loud "Taaaaaalaaaaaa!!!".  Tala was startled with my scream so she kicked hard and her feet escaped my hand... and there goes the feet dipped in the poop!  OH EM GEE! Can it get even worse???

And there was the little Spanish Pinay, smiling and laughing while her mami was cramming to clean all the poop everywhere.   What a brat!  I couldn't help but laugh.  Real joy of motherhood.  Comedy-real.

An Open Letter

Dear Skinny Jeans,

I miss you.  I miss you a lot.  How long has it been? Almost a year, probably?  I'm sorry I've abandoned you that long and I'm sorry I just can't get back to you again just now.  I'm actually back to my weight before I got preggy but my hips, my golly, my hips are still wider than it was.  That's not the real problem though, coz for you I can hold my breath and squeeze my everything to fit you in.  You know well I could and I would...but I just shouldn't.  You see, my dear skinny jeans, I was cut for little Spanish Pinay's safety.  The cut was done way down below the abdomen.  They call it bikini cut.  Apparently it is done as such, so later on I can still wear bikini without the scar being seen by the public.  But honestly, I don't know what's more horrible to see; the scar or the bulgy tummy that can go bouncy bouncy out of the bikini.  Eeeeneeeweys,  I'm still healing from my cut.  It gets uncomfortable tightening around the area and I'm scared the cut would break open (of course it's not gonna happen since it's already scarred but I get that sensation... and I tell ya, it's not a very good sensation).  This is my first time to be sliced and diced so I am all squeamish about anything that has to do with it. 

So my dear skinny jeans,  I'm asking you to not lose hope on me.  I don't know when but I know one day, we'll get the chance to become one again.  In the meantime, just chill out where you are now.  It's nice and cozy in there.

Please keep in touch.

Your owner.

P.S.  Do you think I need to do exercise?  I was never the type and I don't think I will be, anytime soon so, be really, really patient.  It might take some decades before we get reunited again...

Breastfeeding is Best for Babies

I am not going to emphasize on the importance of breastfeeding for babies.  I believe we ALL know that.  Just that nowadays, there are too many circumstances that mothers encounter that prohibit them from breastfeeding or allowing them to continue breastfeeding for as long as the baby needs it.  I am a believer of breastfeeding and I would like to be able to continue providing milk to little Spanish Pinay as much as I can.  The battle against circumstances, social pressure, etc is hard but I swear on my most sumptuous chocolates I will try my best!

It makes me feel glad to hear another mom doing her best as well to produce milk for her little one.  A friend of a friend is trying to go back to breastfeeding and so I am putting here an excerpt about re-lactating I've read from a good book about lactation.  The book by Un Regalo Para Toda La Vida by Carlos Gonzalez is really a good book for those who wants good information about lactation.  I've translated the excerpt as best as I can... I hope I won't get sued, no?  I did mention the source so this is not plagiarism! :-D

"I've stopped breastfeeding since a few weeks already.  Can start breastfeeding again?"

Yes.  It is possible to stop providing unnecessary formula and go back to breastfeeding exclusively, even when the baby hasn't been breastfed for weeks or even months or even when the baby hasn't breastfeed from the beginning.

Perhaps, your baby was born premature or was sick and couldn't be breastfed.  Or perhaps you have decided not to breastfeed but has now changed your opinion.  Or probably you were recommended to stop breastfeeding because the baby is not gaining weight and then proved that with the formula, the baby gained weight just the same as when he was being breastfed or even lesser...

The process is usually named as re-lactation.  There are two things to achieve:  to produce milk and for the baby to suck.  The two objectives are interrelated, but they are relatively independent.  The baby would probably suck more if some milk will come out but it is not essential:  No milk ever comes out from pacifiers but babies suck pacifiers well; then why wouldn't they suck an empty breast?  On the other side, more milk will be produced if baby sucks more but just the same, it's not essential:  you can also stimulate milk production by pumping milk, either by hand or using a breast pump.

Of course at the beginning, only few milk will come out or none at all.  You have to to have patience and perseverance.  Do not work on it too much until the breast gets swolen though; it is better to try pumping for 5-10 mins every time, but repeat the process 8-10 times a day or more if yo have time and willingness to do so.

Producing milk is relatively easy; if one tries it constantly, one will end up producing milk.  One thing is for the baby to suck since of course, that doesn't depend on the mom anymore.  If the baby doesn't want to, he won't.  The younger the baby, the easier he will end up latching or breastfeeding; babies younger than 4 months the success rate for baby to start breastfeeding is higher than babies who are more than 4 months old.  There are some mothers who's able to produce milk but couldn't get their babies to latch and suck;  they'd have to provide the milk using a glass or mixing it with liquid cereals.  In any case, there were babies who are more than a year old already and started being breastfed again.  It's always worth it to try.

Sometimes it is enough to just put the baby near the breast, and it will just start to suck naturally, even if it has been weeks already without doing so.  But most of the times, the baby that is already used to formulas rejects breast or doesn't know what to do with it.  Don't ever try to let the baby get too hungry in the hope that the baby will feel obligated to drink from the breast just because he's already too hungry.  First of all, because it means lack of respect and secondly, because that just doesn't work....

I am ending the excerpt here as I can see my little one blinking her eyes already from her nap and that I believe the more important information about re-lactation has been mentioned already.  I do really hope that she'll be able to get back into breastfeeeding.

I aso do hope mothers can get more support from the government and from the society about getting more information on breastfeeding. Sometimes it is just a matter of getting the right information and the right guidance to be able to achieve this.  It is not hard and it is not impossible to do.  Sometimes it seems that being able to breastfeed is such a big ordeal nowadays that if you are able to do it, people are in awe.. when in fact it is the most natural and primitive way.  No big science behind it.  Just motherhood.

Bad Parenting 101

Can you really spoil a 2-month old?

We were invited to my husband's family friend's house to celebrate their town's fiesta.  And so we went.  There were many people but all of them are no-strangers to us as we have met them already from previous year's fiesta celebration.  But for Tala, our little Spanish Pinay, all of them are strangers.  They were all happy and excited to see Tala.  Everyone's been commenting how pretty Tala is.  "Oh, look at those eyes".  "Oh look at her color.  She's got skin color like she goes to the beach everyday".  "Oh look at her, she is just so pretty".  People asked me how I am doing as well but I was kind of astonished by the question that they asked me after asking how I am doing after giving birth.  "Is she a good girl?".  Is she a good girl.  I don't exactly know what that means.  Besides, what would a mom tell about her daughter?  "No she's a bad girl".  Would any mom tell that to people about her own child?  With a little confused face, I jokingly told them she is my daughter and she's good to me, so I would say she's a good girl.  And then kidding aside, I told them well, at night she lets me sleep.  Especially lately, she's been sleeping for about 5-6 hours straight.  Then I got approving nods.  I felt I was being judged as a first-time mom.  

After getting passed from one person to another, Tala started crying.  She's tired and sleepy and the last time she ate was like 2.5 hours ago so she must be hungry.  People started looking at her and again, started asking me; "Do you let her get used to being carried?".  I wanted to roll my eyes as I know where this question is going.  But I didn't.  Instead, I put on my warmest smile and said well, I carry her whenever I feel like to and whenever I know she needs me to carry her.  So then the most expected response comes:  "You're spoiling her!".  I just smiled.

I took her from the last person who was carrying her and excused ourselves so I can feed her.  She fell asleep in my arms so husband and I went to put her down on her basinet. 

Lunch was already served so hubby and I went to join the hungry team.  Tala slept until we finished the  main course.  Mother-in-law insisted for me to eat the desserts while she took Tala for a walk.  But Tala started crying so MIL went back and again, insisted that hubby takes Tala while I finish my dessert.  I obeyed.

A woman from the table started talking to my sister-in-law about Tala and about babies.  She's a mom of 2 girls already in their teenage years.  She asked if Tala is used to being carried around.   There we go again to never ending saga.  With a smile, I said she likes being carried that's for sure.  And again, the inevitable answer:  "Well, she shouldn't be carried everytime she cries.  She'll get used to it and you'll be the one to suffer.  Babies are too smart.  They will manipulate you".  Manipulate me.  A 2-month old baby manipulating adults.  Wow.  I just shrugged and then smiled again.   Her conversation with my sister-in-law continued while I focused on my dessert.  She continued on about letting babies cry so they won't get used to being carried, that crying is good for them, that it'll make their lungs stronger, etc.   I swear she's like she has a degree on child psychology and pediatrics.   And she didn't stop.  She asked if Tala is used to pacifiers.  I said she doesn't really like pacifiers.  She would suck on it from time to time but not always.  There she goes: "Well, you have to insist as that is the only way you can calm her.  You have to keep insisting on her".  I was already tired.  So I just said yes.  

After finishing my dessert I went to my husband so I can take Tala from him and then he can have his dessert.  She was not able to have a good nap.  The place was in a festive mood.  Everyone talking, some yelling, people walking back and forth.  Talking to her with their highest-pitched baby talk.  She was passed from one person to another.  She was not really in a good mood.  She started crying again.  I tried to sleep her but then with the noise around, she'd wake up.  Her godfather took her from me and Tala started crying.  People kept on telling me let her cry, let her cry.  It's good for her.  Since I didn't want them to tag me as a spoiler-mom or someone stubborn who doesn't listent to experts I let Tala cry in the arms of her godfather.  With all these people telling me what I should and should not do, I felt like a new mom who has no idea what parenting is.  Everybody's telling me what to do and telling me it's my fault why Tala is cries when held by someone else.  Listening to my baby's cry, I cried even more... inside.

At last, it's time to go home.  Tala was really, really not in a good mood and started crying in the car going home.  We reached home and she started to feel better.  She started smiling and playing with us.  Time for sleep.  I started feeding her.  She was moving a lot and looked like she wasn't comfortable at all.  She normally sleeps easily at night... but this time she was looking so nervous, arching her back, scrunching, moving her arms frantically.  She didn't have her complete nap in the afternoon and she's tired from all the crying and passing I'm pretty sure.  This is making her so uncomfortable.  It took me more than an hour to sleep her.  Like a hawk, I watched her sleep and suddenly moving like she's being startled by something but she'd go back to sleep.  She was like that for 15 minutes until she finally awoke.  I started crying.  I know my baby's not feeling good.  I just knew that crying-it-out didn't do her good.  I blamed myself for listening to the experts.  Hubby came to the rescue and took Tala in his arms.  Tala felt calm and secure... in 4 minutes, she fell asleep.  Sound asleep. I sighed with relief.

I told myself, no more letting Tala cry-it-out.  We just both suffer.  If attending to her every cry and needs means spoiling her, then let her be spoiled.  She only has 2 months, for crying out loud.  At this point in her life she needs love and care more than discipline.  My baby cries, precisely because she's a baby.  Why does a mom with a crying baby seems to have a big sign on her forehead saying "I'm a first time mom who doesn't have any idea how to rear a child properly, advice from everybody please!"  Tremendous.

From now on, I'll try to listen more to my own instinct.  For the sake of our little Spanish Pinay and for my sanity's sake.  A mother knows best, after all.

Bad parenting 101: Listening to every well-meaning unsolicited advisers and letting be pushed over about how you should take care of your own child.

Baby on One Hand, Vacuum on The Other

Yes, today, I couldn't just ignore the bunny dusts... I vacuumed the floor while little Spanish Pinay is in my arms.  Tough! But not too tough.  Thankfully she likes the baby carrier and she also gets entertained with the noise of the vacuum.

Things you learn to do as a mom...

image from http://www.purplecrying.info

Lazy and Big Headed

At two months, little Spanish Pinay was scheduled for another visit to her pediatrician. It's also time for her vaccines... poor one she screamed and wailed like never before in her two-month life. She was placed belly down to see how she'd hold up her head. She was weighed, measured, scrutinized from head to her tiny vag. She's all good and normal except that she's lazy and big headed. My little smart-rear is lazy to do push-ups. Sometimes she does but most of the times she just doesn't want to. And mami goes all poor-my-baby everytime she started crying during her tummy time so she'd pick her up at once. Bad parenting.

And what do you know, big headed she is. Literally. Hubby and I got stomach-tied when we saw the worried look of the pediatrician the moment the nurse reported that her head measurement is above the normal curve. So they measured again and yet again. In the end, her head measurement is normal but boundering the max. To be on the safe side, the doctor told us to come back after a month instead of after two months. We forgot to tell the pediatrician though that little Spanish Pinay came from a family of modest type of big headed people... my hubby for one! Anyways, we'll see in a month. These things about head, brain, skull, etc, gives me creeps and I'm pretty sure it won't let me sleep well at night if I think too much. Knowing how paranoid mom I am.

So what's the assignment after the check up? More tummy time and less lying down flat on her back. Nurse said this can make the head go flat and thus make it look bigger. So more tummy time it is. In just a matter of minute, she's all "mami I'm tired already pick me up, please", and I'm all "my poor baby... come to mami's arms". But I had to suck it up. After 3 days, she's gotten more used to it. She'd still complain but after a longer time.. like 3 minutes :-).

So ladies and gentlemen, we got stronger neck, arms and shoulders!

And we also want to add this picture showing off her fluffy tushy!

I love her reusable diapers. Makes her butt so fluffy, it's funny. Hey, that's a good rhyme!  Look at her arching her back with her two legs up.  We may be having a gymnast soon ;-)

About the big head, I hope there's also some exercise to not make the head grow above the normal curve... but there's none so, we'll just see in a month's time.   Ta-ta for now!

10 weeks! Really.

10 weeks has passed since that traumatic at the same time fulfilling day in my life.  Has it really been 10 weeks already? Or should I say just 10 weeks?  If I am to think about what's left of my maternity leave, then I'd say gosh, 10 weeks already!!  But If I am to think about the time when little Spanish Pinay wouldn't be so demanding anymore and she'd be more independent playing on her own, probably already eating baby food aside from breastmilk that'll make her really sleep through the night, then I'd say shux, just 10 weeks...

In fairness to our little one, she's been really good at night.  On lucky nights, she's sleep for 5-6 hours straight then feeding time, then another 4 hours, feeding time then another 2-3 hours maybe.  On normal nights, she'd sleep 3-4 hours straight then feeding time, then 3-2 hours then feeding time, then another 3-2 hours.  On a not so lucky nights, she'd wake up every two hours asking for her mami's milk.  Right after she gets fed, she'd easily go back to sleep.  Sometimes, she's too sleepy that she'd only drink from one breast and there's just no way she'd latch on to the other breast.  That makes her only sleep for 2 hours.  The next morning, every morning, even though I've been waking up every now and then to feed her, I get my biggest, warmest thank-you-mami smile from our little one.  She doesn't fail on waking up with big smile for me.  The moment she makes I'm-awake-I'm-not-sleepy-anymore noises, I'd slowly open the window to let the light in, she'd blink her eyes to adjust, then I'd tell her good morning, she'd look at me and there she is all smiles, all giddy moving her head from side to the other showing off her toothless gums.  Every morning.  No fail.  Tiredness eased.  Ready for the whole day's carrying and feeding and playing and ssshh'ing Tala.

good morning my shining star!

As of me, I'm still in a big adjusting mode.  I am doing a lot better now that I am well into getting healed from being sliced and diced.  Baby blues... it's now just in my rear view mirror.  One day, it'll be completely out of my sight.  I just have too many thoughts going on my mind that I just can't shut them even at night they keep me awake.  They are my excitements, worries, things I want to do, things I want to have for my family and the list just goes on. Work. Tala's room.  Bunny dusts.  Jeans. Beach. Going out for a walk with Tala without her suddenly screaming along the way.  My family oceans away.  There's just too many of them. I really have to slow it down.

I am so thankful I have a loving husband who's always supporting me with everything.  He's always there with his bloomers and pom-poms cheering me up (now that's an interesting sight to imagine... uhm, interesting, no. Hilarious!)

Motherhood is Here

Tala  - Our Little Spanish Pinay is now 5 weeks and 3 days.  It has been a roller coaster ride for us first time parents.  It has been fun, scary, thrilling, overwhelming, magical and whole lot more of emotions and it will be like that for as long as we are her parents.  

I was one of those typical can't-wait-to-be-a-mom kind of woman.  I've never played make-believe of me walking down the altar like many little girls but I did play make-believe of me pregnant and then breastfeeding my baby.  I love babies.  I love kids.  I like playing with them and talking to them and listening to them.  I always thought I am destined to be a mom and with my experience taking care of my other 4 younger siblings, I was too confident I'll do just fine taking care of my own baby.   Now that the make-believe has come to reality, the confidence faded away.  I was in euphoria the first time I laid my eyes on her.  While we were in the hospital, staring at her was my past time but upon going back home, I felt that my recovery has been slow due to the emergency cesarian I had to undergo (I was so hoping I wouldn't have cesarian by the way).  My movements has been limited and thus couldn't do much for our little one.  I felt incompetent as a mom for 3 weeks.  I so wish my mom or one of my siblings was here to help me out.  I felt all the more homesick and defeated by the situation.  I kept on thinking what did I get this little creature into.  She so not deserve this. I worried so much whether she's ok or not, if I am making her feel not ok because I'm not taking care of her the right way, etc.  No one has told me it'll be easy but one couldn't really understand well how difficult it can get until they're on the actual situation.  The so-called baby blues has afflicted me.  

But God has always been there for me and he has given me a husband that supports me beyond 100 percent.  He had been my pilar of strength the whole time I was physically and emotionally weak.  As a first time father, he was doing impressively well.  He has all the patience, dedication and love our little one just needs.  After his 15days paternity leave, he asked for another 2  weeks vacation leave to be with me and take care of me and Tala.  This has helped me a lot to recover and feel more confident that everything's fine.  Tala will be fine.

Fast forward to present, I've now recovered from my baby blues,  Manuel is back to work and I am 24x7 with my little angel.  I'm still too worried about her but now, I am more level-headed about these worries.  My poor baby is now more adjusted to the drastic change of her environment.  I wouldn't say everything is easy and manageable now.  There are still some difficult days especially when she's suffering from such painful gases she can't expel.  Our house is still a mess since I don't really have much time to clean up and organize.  But for now, I don't care much about it.  Tala is my main priority.  Especially now that she has started communicating more with her smiles and goo-goos.  It melts my heart every morning she'd greet me with her ear-to-ear toothless smile.  Whenever I feel her eyes locked on me, I just feel like I'm the luckiest woman on earth.

As I type my thoughts right now, our little Spanish Pinay is sleeping soundly.  I've glanced her as many times as there are words in this blog.  She's smiling on her sleep.  She's moving and seems to be waking up but would soon go back to zzz.  She looks so peaceful.  Makes me want to kiss her soundly and hug her tightly.

Motherhood.  I'm finally on it :)

A Star Was Born

April 22, 2010 at 13:55 with 3kg and 890g, 50cm - Tala our very own star and angel was born.

On my 40th week and 5 days, hubby and I went to the hospital for the weekly checkup - that was April 21.  At this point of pregnancy, I should be ready to give birth anytime.  The last time I was checked, I was still far from dilating.  Cervix hasn't even softened yet.  Amniotic fluid was also getting scarce although it wasn't in a risky level yet.  Due to this, my OB decided to admit me in the hospital so they can monitor me closely and start inducing the labor if over 24 hours labor wouldn't start yet.  I was given something to provoke contractions - which up to that day, I haven't had any.

The following morning, I was given yet another one of those things that induces contractions.  I was monitored again.  Baby's heartbeat was ok, I was having little contractions but I'm not even feeling them.  Cervix was still "raw".  Mid-day, hubby has just stepped out the hospital to take a bath while my mother-in-law stayed with me.  Time to be monitored again.  Baby's heartbeat still doing good, small contractions almost nothing.  This went on for about 20mins and suddenly, the monitoring machine started making loud beep sounds.  Mother-in-law rushed out to call the nurse while I was kind of confused.  I can feel my baby moving a lot in my tummy so I didn't know why the machine was making all the noise.

Midwife and OB came rushing.  OB keenly watching the machine as it records baby's heartbeat.  I saw it was dropping.  I though there must be something wrong with the machine.  My baby's very active.. she's constantly moving.  OB told me to try to change my position to see if baby's heartbeat will recover.  After a couple more minutes, I saw the look on OB's face... sent my heart to skip a beat.  I nervously asked the doctor if there's something wrong.  He looked at me with face almost pale and sweating.  Told me baby's heartbeat is dropping... she's getting tired.  I didn't understand.  My baby's moving a lot how could she have her heartbeat dropping.  I've started trembling with fear for my baby's safety.  Then I heard OB's firm voice telling me we have to do an emergency CS.  A split of seconds after, I've got a nurse and a midwife preparing me for CS.  With my trembling voice, I asked if I can call my hubby first. I called him and asked him to rush back at the hospital.  

Just few more seconds after, they started moving me out the room.  My mother-in-law kissed me and tried to calm me down.  But I felt she was also trembling.  I was crying and uttering non-stop about my baby.  Everything was happening really, really fast.  Voices around giving orders, confirming something, reciting steps to proceed with.  People telling me to do this and that and all I can say is no, I can't move, I am trembling so hard.  I never stopped crying and asking the doctors if my baby is going to be ok, if I will see her right after, if they will allow me to have her in my chest right after she's out and again, if she's going to be ok a hundred times.

They never stopped assuring me that my baby will be fine.  In a matter of few minutes,  I heard our little Spanish Pinay cry.  Her head was raised over the tapestry that covers my tummy and there I saw her face still soaked in blood.  I cried louder than her.  I felt so much joy and relief.  I've never felt so scared for someone else that much.  Then they took her away to be cleaned and examined.  I cried even more.  I wanted to see more of her and longed to touch her.  But I can't.  I was there lying in the operating bed with my arms stretched on each side like Jesus Christ in a cross.  I can barely move.  I was still trembling and crying.  I kept pleading that I want to see my baby again.  Patiently, the doctors were telling me baby's ok and she's being cleaned.  After a few minutes, she was brought back to me all clean and bundled up.  The nurse holding her brought her face close to mine and I felt her soft cheek. I kissed her and smelled her.  I told my baby mami's here and we'll be fine.  She seemed calm. She opened her mouth and I felt like she was also kissing me back.  I was in plain bliss.  I smelled her angelic breath.  Our baby's finally here.  I thought about my hubby and wanted him to be there with us that very moment.  I longed for him so much.

My baby was taken away yet again.  I helplessly said please no, although I know very well that they'd have to take her away again.  I was still crying and trembling.  After closing me, I was brought to the rehabilitation room where I was monitored and examined.  There I waited for more than 2 hours to gain back some sensations on my legs.  I felt really, really cold.  I asked for an extra blanket.  It wasn't enough so I asked for another one.  Still not enough.  I was feeling extremely cold.  I stopped crying frantically but was still sobbing.  I can't stop thinking about my baby and my husband. I so wanted for them to be there with me.  I tried to close my eyes and imagine about them.  Minutes later, I opened my eyes and there was my hubby standing by the side of my bed wearing a doctor's robe.  I cried so hard upon seeing him.  A doctor who's a friend of hubby's parents accompanied him to the rehabilitation room and made him wear a doctor's robe so he would be allowed exceptionally to go inside the rehabilitation room and be with me for a while.

Hubby held my hand the whole time until I gained sensation on my legs.  I kept thinking about my little baby girl.  I long to see and touch her so much.  It pains me knowing that I will not see her until the following day.  When doctors were sure that I can already bend my knees, I was sent to my room where I will be staying for 7 days.  While a nurse pushed the hospital bed where I was lying going to my room, hubby followed.  My parents-in-law were already in my room waiting for me.  I cried upon seeing them and told them I want to see my baby.  They tried to assure me that it won't be long.

My mother-in-law and hubby already had a glimpse of our little one, while father-in-law hasn't seen her yet so I told hubby to accompany his father in the nursery room so he can see his very first granddaughter.  I can see the excitement in his eyes.  I told them I couldn't see her just yet but at least they can and then they could tell me later on how she is doing and how does she look.

Hubby and his father left while I try to stop myself from sobing.  I closed my eyes.  After about 15mins, they came back.  Hubby got this big smile on his face and said "Sorpresa!!".  I didn't know what was the surprise but upon seeing a nurse coming inside the room with them, pushing a transparent cart, I sobbed so hard.  It was my little one.  They made an exception and brought my baby to me.  The nurse reminded us that she can only stay for 5mins.  She let me held her.  I was in heaven.  She's the most beautiful thing I've laid my eyes on.  Precious is an understatement.  I didn't want those 5 mins to end.  But of course, it did.  This time though, my body's calmer.  I know my baby's ok and that the following day, I will see her again.

Tala, our star was born.   With that thought in mind, I surrendered to sleep.

The Seven Wonders of Pregnancy

There are obviously more than seven wonders of pregnancy but if I were to place them all in this blog, I might not be able to finish this at all.  So I'd be just listing the seven biggest wonders I lived during my entire pregnancy period.

Finding out we're pregnant.

It was definitely a moment I'd never forget.   A moment that brought hubby and I to tears upon learning the greatest news of all.  Our prayers have been answered.  Here's a link to the blog I wrote about this.

Sharing the good news to people close to our hearts.

The joy of sharing this wonderful news to all the people close to our hearts is definitely something wonderful.  Hearing the excitement and happiness from the voices of these people made us even happier and ecstatic about the new phase my hubby and I are about to enter. 

Hearing our baby's heartbeat for the first time.

Magical.  Hubby and I were brought back to tears.  The moment we heard our little angel's fast heartbeat is simply magical.  There's a life inside my womb... we will become parents soon.

Seeing our baby via ultrasound for the first time.

Ultra magical.   There she was so tiny yet already almost complete.  She seemed to be happily moving her arms and feet like a champion swimmer.  We were just overwhelmed by this wonderful site.  I didn't want it to end and I wanted to bring home the machine to do the ultrasound at home everyday and just stare at my baby....  Here's a link to the blog I wrote about it.

Feeling baby's first kick (just me)

This moment sent my heart to palpitate like I've had 5 cups of espresso in one go.  I was sent to plain euphoria.  My baby's communicating with me.  She's telling me she's there and she's doing good.  How can this not be one of the top 7 wonders of pregnancy...  Here's a link to the blog I wrote about it.

Hubby feeling the baby's kick for the first time.

This might be just the same as the previous one but for me it's another wonderful moment in my pregnancy.   Hubby was not able to feel baby's kick until after a month I started feeling our baby's movement.  So when he finally did, it was definitely a moment I'd never forget.  It's something that has bonded the three of us even more as a family.  It was a very beautiful moment.  Hubby's reaction is so classic, sent me to laugh my heart out.  Here's a link to the blog I wrote about it.

Holding her in my arms for the first time.

What can I say.  This tops everything else.  After 41 weeks, she's finally here with us.  I can already touch her, smell her, talk to her, see her smile after each satisfying breastfeeding session, sing to her, spend late nights with her, hear her cry in different decibels... she's simply wonderful.  Heaven sent.  Our very own star.