It's here definitely. We are on the terrible two phase. It has started a little early actually... the intensity gradually levels up and right now we are at the peak level of the phase.
She easily gets so frustrated whenever she can't verbalize what she wants or what she feels or if she can have something her way. One second she's this very sweet little happy angel and the next second, she's like a little angry monster throwing fits.
She has learned the word no for as early as I can't remember but at this moment, her no is a big NO! with the index finger pointing upward in a very snappy way. Eyebrows crossing. Eyes stern. Yeah, she got the attitude. Don't ask where she got that.
She has also started the twisting and back-arching and diving on the floor and punching and kicking and yelling and sometimes nail scratching when you try to force her to calm down. She'd want everything on her sight to go away. Go away, chair! Go away boots! Go away, jacket! Go away, doll! Just go away all!
What's even more frustrating is that sometimes we can't understand what has caused her to suddenly throw into some big fits. She'd try to tell us but she still lack words for all the big emotions she's going through so all the more that she'd get frustrated.
It is a difficult moment but what I have learned and still trying to learn is to accept the situation and not get frustrated myself. I've tried different ways to help her calm down but most often than not, it'll be just in vein. One day, when she had one of these moments at my in-law's house, my inlaw tried to help in calming her down. She tried to "correct" LSP's attitude by telling her that LSP is being bad and that good kids don't throw themselves on the floor and cry out loud. She was also telling her that she doesn't like bad kids. Of course she's saying all these in all her good intentions to help and somehow to "discipline".
While I understand how people can tag this kind of behavior as "bad" behavior, I do not share this connotation. I am not an expert on child psychology so I will just speak for our LSP being her mom. At barely 2 years old, our Little Spanish Pinay is growing up so fast. Her mind makes her want to explore on so many things; learn; express emotions and ideas and yes, opinions too, why not. But her words and ways are still too limited and it frustrates her. Whenever she experiences a lot of excitements learning new things, wanting things, she gets overwhelmed and couldn't process the tons of emotions she's feeling. And when she can't get through to adults, she falls into fits. At this age, I don't think she is doing this because she just wants to get her way. It's not bad behavior. It's the only way she can vent out whatever frustrations she is having because of incapacity to communicate well and/or incapacity to understand the amount of emotions she's dealing with.
What she needs is not discipline. During this sensitive moments, what she needs is help. Help in sorting out her feelings. Find the words to express her frustrations, understand what has caused this and understand that she's not alone in dealing with all these.
I am neither saying that she'd be let alone when she's having the fits or give in to what she wants even if it's something dangerous or is not good for her. This one, will just eventually (especially when she's already in an older age) help her develop the bad habit of throwing herself into fits if something is not going her way and that is not what we are going for. There are things that no matter how much she'd cry for, we can't just give in to her but it's also not just about saying NO and that's it.
What I have learned to help her somehow slow down on her tantrums and eventually overcome it is by trying to help her verbalize what she's feeling or going through by telling her things such as: "You are upset, aren't you?". "That socket looks really interesting but it's dangerous and you can get hurt. You don't want to get hurt, do you?". "It's been a long day, isn't it? You've played a lot, you ran around, you've met a lot of children and now, you are tired. It's normal you get so tired and sleepy after all those activities!"
Normaly when we start to "re-live" all the activities that she has done for the day especially the ones that were really interesting for her, she'd start to calm down and would join in on remembering the fun things that happened. It's not an easy road though, and it's really a challenge not to get frustrated nor raise my voice while I try to calm her down by talking to her and then she'd fight back with an even louder cry. But it pays off. The storm would calm down. Then it's time for even more hugs and kisses again.
This is also a difficult time for her as much as for hubby and I and we'd really like to let her know that inspite of this ugly phase she's going through, we'll still be here for her and we love her just the same. There will be no "I don't like you anymore because you've been bad or you're acting bad!". Instead, "We're here and we'll help you go through this rough road."
She easily gets so frustrated whenever she can't verbalize what she wants or what she feels or if she can have something her way. One second she's this very sweet little happy angel and the next second, she's like a little angry monster throwing fits.
She has learned the word no for as early as I can't remember but at this moment, her no is a big NO! with the index finger pointing upward in a very snappy way. Eyebrows crossing. Eyes stern. Yeah, she got the attitude. Don't ask where she got that.
She has also started the twisting and back-arching and diving on the floor and punching and kicking and yelling and sometimes nail scratching when you try to force her to calm down. She'd want everything on her sight to go away. Go away, chair! Go away boots! Go away, jacket! Go away, doll! Just go away all!
What's even more frustrating is that sometimes we can't understand what has caused her to suddenly throw into some big fits. She'd try to tell us but she still lack words for all the big emotions she's going through so all the more that she'd get frustrated.
It is a difficult moment but what I have learned and still trying to learn is to accept the situation and not get frustrated myself. I've tried different ways to help her calm down but most often than not, it'll be just in vein. One day, when she had one of these moments at my in-law's house, my inlaw tried to help in calming her down. She tried to "correct" LSP's attitude by telling her that LSP is being bad and that good kids don't throw themselves on the floor and cry out loud. She was also telling her that she doesn't like bad kids. Of course she's saying all these in all her good intentions to help and somehow to "discipline".
While I understand how people can tag this kind of behavior as "bad" behavior, I do not share this connotation. I am not an expert on child psychology so I will just speak for our LSP being her mom. At barely 2 years old, our Little Spanish Pinay is growing up so fast. Her mind makes her want to explore on so many things; learn; express emotions and ideas and yes, opinions too, why not. But her words and ways are still too limited and it frustrates her. Whenever she experiences a lot of excitements learning new things, wanting things, she gets overwhelmed and couldn't process the tons of emotions she's feeling. And when she can't get through to adults, she falls into fits. At this age, I don't think she is doing this because she just wants to get her way. It's not bad behavior. It's the only way she can vent out whatever frustrations she is having because of incapacity to communicate well and/or incapacity to understand the amount of emotions she's dealing with.
What she needs is not discipline. During this sensitive moments, what she needs is help. Help in sorting out her feelings. Find the words to express her frustrations, understand what has caused this and understand that she's not alone in dealing with all these.
I am neither saying that she'd be let alone when she's having the fits or give in to what she wants even if it's something dangerous or is not good for her. This one, will just eventually (especially when she's already in an older age) help her develop the bad habit of throwing herself into fits if something is not going her way and that is not what we are going for. There are things that no matter how much she'd cry for, we can't just give in to her but it's also not just about saying NO and that's it.
What I have learned to help her somehow slow down on her tantrums and eventually overcome it is by trying to help her verbalize what she's feeling or going through by telling her things such as: "You are upset, aren't you?". "That socket looks really interesting but it's dangerous and you can get hurt. You don't want to get hurt, do you?". "It's been a long day, isn't it? You've played a lot, you ran around, you've met a lot of children and now, you are tired. It's normal you get so tired and sleepy after all those activities!"
Normaly when we start to "re-live" all the activities that she has done for the day especially the ones that were really interesting for her, she'd start to calm down and would join in on remembering the fun things that happened. It's not an easy road though, and it's really a challenge not to get frustrated nor raise my voice while I try to calm her down by talking to her and then she'd fight back with an even louder cry. But it pays off. The storm would calm down. Then it's time for even more hugs and kisses again.
This is also a difficult time for her as much as for hubby and I and we'd really like to let her know that inspite of this ugly phase she's going through, we'll still be here for her and we love her just the same. There will be no "I don't like you anymore because you've been bad or you're acting bad!". Instead, "We're here and we'll help you go through this rough road."
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