She's the one...

... that constantly makes my heart skip a bit

with her bravado and tender nature in superlative form

... that would give me such emotions

as varied and colorful as the fishes and the corals in the sea

... that kills me with too much laughter in a day with her silliness

because she's just too darn funny

and alive and full of energy and too crazy

... that for God's divine reason, has completed our family.

... together with hubby, makes life not perfect but absolutely wonderful.

Behind the Scenes of Terrible Two

I wrote about us officially going through the terrible-two phase about three months ago.  When parents would say Oh, we are on the terrible phase now - the normal reaction is an empathetic with a sorry-feeling "uffff, let's hope she'll go past that soon..."
Terrible two phase has such a negative conotation like it's a hurricane one need to be prepared for.  The tantrums, the fits, the meltdowns are thought to be the protagonists of this phase but I'd say they are actually the antagonists.  These antagonists often overshadow the other milestones and wonderful changes in this phase.  When we normally here the phrase terrible-two, we hiss and grit our teeth and do the empathetic bending of head sideways followed by a non-verbal-poor-parents pout.

It seems that every emotion of a 2-yr old toddler is hightened to a ten-fold level - not only the anger and the frustrations but also the happiness, the excitement, the empathy, the sadness, the admiration, the surprise, the anticipation... every.single.emotion. And that is not exactly an unfortunate thing.

I, for one, have been wishing that this "terrible two" phase would be over soon... I was getting clouded by the frustrations and pressure of her meltdowns and for many parts, failed to see pass this behavior.  All I was seeing was her tantrums and meltdowns especially upon waking up from her naps and I just couldn't understand where are these coming from. I was feeling helpless and finding myself defeated.  I am really thankful that I have a husband who knows when to step in and help me see beyond what is just obvious.

At 2 yrs old (or maybe a little earlier), children are discovering tons of great new abilities, interests and a whole new exciting stimulants around them.  This is what is exactly happening to our Little Spanish Pinay.  She's been learning new abilities and independence that most often than not, she doesn't know where to start and at the same time she feels like she can even do more when she's still limited with some of her physical abilities.  She wants to explore everything and do everything at the same time because y'all? These are all new and in the eyes of a 2-yr old, eager to absorb everything the world can teach her, she.must.try.everything.because.she.can.  So, imagine the frustration and disappointment if met with sudden limitations... can be too much for a 2-yr old to handle.

But on the other side of the coin, where her needs to discover, to explore and to express herself are met, it's a whole new world ala Jasmin and Aladin in their flying carpet.  Even for us parents.  Seeing her squeal and open her mouth in such awe and excitement upon arriving at her favorite park is beyond joy.  Receiving an unexpected hug and brute kiss from her (even if it means she'd step on my foot and head-butt on my nose) is a reward to keep for life.  When she tells different stories on her words with ultra cute and funny expressions, our hearts are filled with laughter filled with admiration.  These moments would then make me wish she'd be in this phase forever or she'd carry over this characteristics on to different phases of her development.

One time, she was eating her sandwich and suddenly she wrapped it around her dress smudging it with tuna and cheese. With my hand on my head, first in my brewing tempter was the dress! the stain! the work needed to remove the stain! As I tell her that this is not right to do, she defensively tried to tell me El tawiks tiene frio! (The sandwich is feeling cold!)  She was definitely playing one of her make-believes games.  She then told me that it's a baby tawiks (sandwish) and therefore it's cold.

I couldn't get mad with this 2-yr old just trying to explore on her imagination (tender andcompassionate if I may add).  The ruined dress? I can just exhale a big sigh.  I told her that the baby sandwich is now fine and prefers to be eaten by her because it will never feel cold inside her tummy.  It took her a few seconds to digest what I just said and told me no and a a lot of thumping and crying.  Yeah, I know another sigh.  I figured she's not hungry anymore so I took the sandwich and told her that the baby sandwich needs her mommy sandwich so we have to bring her to the mommy.  It took a bit while to convince her but in the end, she agreed. I gave her her doll so she can continue to play-mommy.  This hasn´t been the first time this happened and by the looks of it, it wouldn't be the last.  Yesterday, she wrapped a lollipop with her trench coat.... with the same story.

It wouldn't be easy and I am sure that there will be times(many) that I will lose my composure and just see the mess that's been made but knowing and understanding what's behind her different behaviors, it'll help me see passed the tantrums and the meltdowns and the messing around the house.  It's not that she misbehaves rather, she's just a 2-yr old filled with life and emotions and hunger to learn and explore her environments, her abilities and her own limitations. And my role? Participate and help foment his development through discovering, experimenting and playing.

Wordless Wednesday: I will protect you even in my sleep...

My heart melts over and over everytime I look at this image

DIY: Rolled Magazine Paper Project - Behind The Scene

I’ve promised long ago that I will post a tutorial on the garbage bin, magazine rack and spice drawer I’ve made out of rolled magazine papers.  But I was kind of stumped on where to start as they are 3 different things and didn’t know which of this three I’d make a tutorial first.  So I decided on just putting here the basic concept of using rolled magazine papers to make A LOT of things because this is what's really important.  Knowing these basic concepts, can lead you to be able to make  A LOT of different things out of rolled magazine papers. Yes, you can do A LOT  of things using rolled magazine papers.  You are only limited by your imagination!

So let’s start with the basic concepts.

First is of course collecting old magazines.  I try to strip each page (or 10 at the same time) out.  I do not cut it from the binded side as I want to maximize the page that can be used.  Sometimes, depending on how the magazine is binded, there is no other choice but to cut it.  Anyways, I then fold the pages in half and cut. The size of the magazine does not really matter.  I try not to be picky with the type of magazine because I want to be able to recycle as much magazines as I can.  

Ok, so now, you have cut magazines.  Next is to start rolling the magazine pages into a tube-like shapes.   I tried to check out the internet on tutorial for this as I thought, surely, I am not the only one who thought about recycling magazines by rolling them.  This way, it may be easier for me to refer to this sites than recreating the steps to take pics, etc.  I wasn’t surprised really to find thousands of other people who are into this as well.  Their procedures are not very far from what I do but there are slight differences.   Like the way I roll the magazine pages.  I use a plastic rod where I honestly have no recollection what it was for.  I just found it one day lying on our floor and was about to throw it but then thought maybe one day, I would need it.  I am a pack-rat like that.  Other people do this by just folding the magazine paper from the long side.  I find this more time consuming. 

The plastic rod.  It's about 7mm in diameter.

I believe you can also use a long, thin pencil or whatever that has this shape.  The diameter of the rolled magazine paper will of course depend on the thickness of the “rod” that you will be using.  Here’s a short video on how I do it.

First you put the rod on the lower left corner of the paper in a slanting position. Then you start rolling until all the paper is rolled into the rod then you pull out the rod.  This is the part that is a bit difficult for me to explain so I made the video above… I hope it helps J

Another advantage of using the rod to make magazine strips is that the ends

After making TONS (as in gazillion of them, depends on what you want to do) of these rolled magazines (at this point, I will call them rolled magazine paper strips), we can already start with the next step. You don’t actually have to make a gazillion of them before rolling them into circular or squared shapes, etc… you can alternate the steps – it all depends on whatever is more convenient for you.

Now the next step is to roll these rolled magazine paper strips into whatever shape you like.  I’ve done circular (solid and a with a hole in the middle) and square.  The concept is just the same…  You will be the primary responsible on how it will take shape. Just like a potmaker on his pots.  So  let’s do the solid circular one as for me, this is the most basic of 'em all.   See the video below.

I thought of narrating the step but I am way too shy haha.  I actually hate hearing my voice on recording so… no, not this time :-D  Also please forgive me for the quality of the video. I do not have enough lighting and I didn’t have time to properly set up… I’m a first timer ;-)

Ok…  moving on.  So you just add more rolled magazine paper strips until you got the right size you are looking for. Now, to have a hole in the middle of your circular rolled magazine piece, you can just use a small bottle or whatever cylindrical object to wrap the rolled magazine paper strips… then you just take it out once you got the right size of the rolled magazine piece.  Or, you can just roll it leaving a small space (by wrapping it first on your thumb).  It doesn't have to be a perfect circle.  This project is very forgiving of imperfections... in fact, it can even give more uniqueness to the finished product.

Another way is to shape the rolled magazine paper into square.  I do this to make something that is square or rectangular in shape like a box or a chest (this is my upcoming project) perhaps J .  As I've said, the posibilities are endless (somewhat). 

So let’s say we now have a number of these rolled magazine pieces.  The next step is to put them together to construct something useful or decorative.   The process I do depends on the use of the end-product.  For instance,  with the magazine rack, since I want it to be sturdy and not break out if I try to push more magazines in it, I tied each piece with a nylon string.  I use a big needle to poke the nylon thred in the sides of the pieces and just tie it really tight.  Maybe next time, I can make a video for this.  The other way is just use hot glue.  This is what is mentioned from most of the tutorials I see.  For a garbage bin, hot glue should be enough.  You just try to put the pieces together and hot glue the sides that will touch the other pieces.  It’s simple really. 

I’ll try to make another tutorial that will focus on constructing these pieces together to actually form a real object that is useful or decorative J  as a tease, here’s my latest project:

This baby is about 65cm tall now.

Wordless Wednesday: As Big As I am!

Wordless Wednesday: Whatever!

whatever, mami, whatever.

The Weekend That Was

It's Monday again but all I can think about is weekend.  I can't wait till it's weekend again - good thing there's only 5 working days in a week!  Just 4 more days and hello weekend again.  I believe in the power of positive thinking, y' know :)

So how was our past weekend.   

• Saturday morning- another swimming day for Little Spanish Pinay.    After eating her breakfast, I let her play while I prepare our things.  Did I mention LSP looooves to write, loves to put lipstick and many times mix these two things?  So this is what happened when I left her a few minutes:

All I could say was... what have you done!

She matter-of-factly answered me with "go-te" for bigote (mustache) - Her way of telling me she painted herself a mustache.

Look how happy and proud she is with her little art.

She used a permanent marker (don't ask me how she got one) and I couldn't remove most of it from her face so we had no choice but to go to her swimming class with that face!  People thought it was part of her costume for the carnival LOL.
• This time, she was able to swim on her own with arm floats and it's quite a big milestone for her.  I was surprised and ecstatic at the same time.  Her mood about swimming fluctuates from the beginning.  Her first day was awesome.  Her second day was a lot of mami and hugging and clinging.  Some days were a-ok.  Then other days she's splendid...etc.  But the past 2 weekends - she's really been excited to get into the water and has been doing a lot of improvements.

Father and daughter drinking session after swimming activities and running around the playground
 
 
• In the car, hubby took my hand while he was driving.  He does that many times and I love it - makes me feel giddy like a high school girl :) But then since he'd need to change gears, he'd let go of my hand and then take it again whenever he's driving in a steady gear.  This time though, he didn't want to let go of my hand even if he had to change gears so he took my hand put it on the gear with his hand.  We looked at each other and smiled at each other.  Too cheesy? I know! But what can I do... we are both hopeless romantics.

•  Lunch time with the inlaws as usual - LSP was particularly affectionate to her abuela (grandma) inspite of saying Abuela, no! Abuela, no!.  That is her way to drive away someone she doesn't want to deal with.  But she was doing this to her abuela in a playful way so that was quite funny.  She does this so her abuela would run after her and get her "culing" (butt).  She'd squeal and run as fast as she can. 

• As usual, it was a battle for her to take her afternoon nap.  When she's not at home, she naturally would love to explore and just play so nap is her enemy.  But in the end, she would still fall asleep.  The power of Las Boobies always take over :)

Our Ms. Super Active... too cute with her poncho and pig tails!

• About a week ago, she has started saying porque (because).  I know kids enter in a "why" state where in they don't stop asking why about every single thing.  This normally starts around 3-4 yrs of age. In spanish, why is por que while because is porque. LSP's favorite word now is porque... she'd use it on every single phrase when she tries to tell us stories.   If you ask her "Where is your pen?" She'd typically respond "No esta... poh-quie Aga!" translation: "It's not here because... ... Aga took it"
• We had another meltdown when we got home.  I was beat! I had to carry her American-football way while she tries to wiggle off from my arm and cry out loud.  Upon arriving at the garage, she tried to tell me something about her boots but I couldn't understand her and she started to get frustrated explaining to me what it is she wants.  We have a lot of things to carry because it was also supermarket day so I didn't have time to wait for her till she calms down. I just decided to carry her and go up the house as fast as we can.  We went straight to our room and I placed her in our bed.  I sat beside her trying to talk to her and helping her put into words what she was feeling.  She started choking with her cries and looked for me so I can help her.  We started hugging and thankfully the storm calmed down.  Whew, another one of those difficult moments.
• Sunday was quite a lazy Sunday and I loved it!  My sides hurt from a lot of LOLs with the Little Spanish Pinay in her terrible two stage.  We painted, we sang, we danced.  I love listening to hubby and LSP's dialogs.  I love to watch them play together while I try to unclutter the house a little bit.
• Sunday afternoon was another meltdown moment for LSP - I forgot the reason why she had the meltdown but I supposed because she wanted to play with something (like a tube of cream or something) and I didn't allow her.  She was crying and doesn't want me near her.  But if I go away, she didn't like it either and would call for me.  Toddlers!

• Finally, Sunday night,  we tried to sleep LSP on her own bed in her own room :-O She didn't protest at all - because mami and Las Boobies were there anyways heh.  But it's a good start I think that she's also comfortable to sleep there.  Around 12mn though, she woke up and looked for mami so I just scooped her up and brought her to our bed. 

All in all, it was quite a refreshing weekend.  Just what I need because the next 2 weekends will be a little more complicated.  I will be on support and may get paged anytime which means I would need to work.  For how long? Depends on the gravity of the issue.  But I do hope I won't get paged!

I also hope this week's going to be nicer to me and to all of us! :)

On Tantrums and Throwing Fits

It's here definitely.  We are on the terrible two phase.  It has started a little early actually... the intensity gradually levels up and right now we are at the peak level of the phase.

She easily gets so frustrated whenever she can't verbalize what she wants or what she feels or if she can have something her way.  One second she's this very sweet little happy angel and the next second, she's like a little angry monster throwing fits.

She has learned the word no for as early as I can't remember but at this moment, her no is a big NO! with the index finger pointing upward in a very snappy way.  Eyebrows crossing.  Eyes stern.  Yeah, she got the attitude.  Don't ask where she got that.

She has also started the twisting and back-arching and diving on the floor and punching and kicking and yelling and sometimes nail scratching when you try to force her to calm down.  She'd want everything on her sight to go away.  Go away, chair! Go away boots! Go away, jacket!  Go away, doll!  Just go away all!

What's even more frustrating is that sometimes we can't understand what has caused her to suddenly throw into some big fits.  She'd try to tell us but she still lack words for all the big emotions she's going through so all the more that she'd get frustrated. 

It is a difficult moment but what I have learned and still trying to learn is to accept the situation and not get frustrated myself.   I've tried different ways to help her calm down but most often than not, it'll be just in vein.  One day, when she had one of these moments at my in-law's house, my inlaw tried to help in calming her down.  She tried to "correct" LSP's attitude by telling her that LSP is being bad and that good kids don't throw themselves on the floor and cry out loud.  She was also telling her that she doesn't like bad kids.  Of course she's saying all these in all her good intentions to help and somehow to "discipline".

While I understand how people can tag this kind of behavior as "bad" behavior, I do not share this connotation.   I am not an expert on child psychology so I will just speak for our LSP being her mom.  At barely 2 years old,  our Little Spanish Pinay is growing up so fast.  Her mind makes her want to explore on so many things; learn; express emotions and ideas and yes, opinions too, why not.  But her words and ways are still too limited and it frustrates her.  Whenever she experiences a lot of excitements learning new things, wanting things,  she gets overwhelmed and couldn't process the tons of emotions she's feeling.  And when she can't get through to adults, she falls into fits.  At this age, I don't think she is doing this because she just wants to get her way. It's not bad behavior. It's the only way she can vent out whatever frustrations she is having because of incapacity to communicate well and/or incapacity to understand the amount of emotions she's dealing with.

What she needs is not discipline.  During this sensitive moments, what she needs is help.  Help in sorting out her feelings.  Find the words to express her frustrations, understand what has caused this and understand that she's not alone in dealing with all these.

I am neither saying that she'd be let alone when she's having the fits or give in to what she wants even if it's something dangerous or is not good for her.  This one, will just eventually (especially when she's already in an older age) help her develop the bad habit of throwing herself into fits if something is not going her way and that is not what we are going for.  There are things that no matter how much she'd cry for, we can't just give in to her but it's also not just about saying NO and that's it.

What I have learned to help her somehow slow down on her tantrums and eventually overcome it is by trying to help her verbalize what she's feeling or going through by telling her things such as:  "You are upset, aren't you?".  "That socket looks really interesting but it's dangerous and you can get hurt.  You don't want to get hurt, do you?".  "It's been a long day, isn't it? You've played a lot, you ran around, you've met a lot of children and now, you are tired. It's normal you get so tired and sleepy after all those activities!"

Normaly when we start to "re-live" all the activities that she has done for the day especially the ones that were really interesting for her, she'd start to calm down and would join in on remembering the fun things that happened.  It's not an easy road though, and it's really a challenge not to get frustrated nor raise my voice while I try to calm her down by talking to her and then she'd fight back with an even louder cry.  But it pays off.  The storm would calm down.  Then it's time for even more hugs and kisses again.

This is also a difficult time for her as much as for hubby and I and  we'd really like to let her know that inspite of this ugly phase she's going through, we'll still be here for her and we love her just the same.   There will be no "I don't like you anymore because you've been bad or you're acting bad!".   Instead, "We're here and we'll help you go through this rough road."

Be Inlove!

Happy valentines y'all!! I do hope you get to celebrate this special day with your loved ones.  Be cheesy.  Be giddy.  Be happy.  Be inlove!

Visit my giveaway if you're up for some love-sharing and a bit of fun!

I'm not a part-time mom

I don't like labeling. But let's admit it, in this world, things or events or occupations and just about anything has to have their names, otherwise, it'll be a complete chaos or texting would really be tiring. 

Imagine everytime you need to mention your job, you'd have to say,  I take care of  keeping and inspecting the financial accounts of a company.  Instead of just saying I am an accountant. 

You get the jist.

But when it comes to motherhood or being a mom, I am uncomfortable about the terms full-time mom for moms having the privilege of being able to spend their 24x7 with their kids to mother them. If they are full-time moms, what does that make someone who has an 8-hour job? A part-time mom? 

No, ma'am.

I work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week (and sometimes a few hours on a weekend) but while I work, that doesn't mean I stop being a mom. Jobs can be full-time or part-time. Full-time if you work at least 40 hours a week. 40 hours because that is what's (theortically) just necessary for someone to do his work duties according to their job description and according to (in general) labor's law (at least to most countries I know). Part-time if it is anywhere less than that because someone else (another part-timer) would replace you in order to fill up with the remaining time in a week or in a day necessary for the same job to be done.

But what is the schedule needed to be completed for a mom to be considered full-time? When I am at work, I don't cease to be a mom. Being a mom is not a role for me that can be removed and set aside while I sweat my forehead to bring home bread. When I am not with my child, I am still her mom. Even when she gets married and move out our house, I'll be her mom. When I am not with her, she is still my responsibility even if someone else is caring for her in my absence.  My day job? I am only responsible with the databases when I am on duty... otherwise, if there's any problem that would occur, I'm not required to do anything or work, so to speak.  Being a mom is not like a job or profession where you can forget about being so when work schedule has ended.  So no, I beg to disagree that one is a full-time mom and then others would fall into the part-time mom category just because we leave the house to earn a living.

I'm not criticizing moms that use the term full-time moms being when they are stay-at-home moms as this term is not something they invented.  The term has just been there and I am 100% for sure it's not being used to mock working moms like me.  But nonetheless, it does make me reflect on what does that imply about moms who work.  Call it being guilty?  Maybe I am guilty that I spend time working isntead of being with my child every minute she needs me - just like how I'd imagine myself doing in my perfect world - and so hearing another mom declaring she's a full-time mom gives me that defensive feeling? I don't know but I just strongly believe it isn't fair.   More than a profession or a vocacion, motherhood IS relationship with your child and that relationship is not and cannot be "temporarily stopped" while one is not with her child to do her way of helping with the house bills.  So it can never be part-time.

I am a mother. Full-time and for a lifetime.  Period.



Facts of me from A-Z

image source is voiceboks

I'm generally a shy person and more of the listener rather than the talk-about-one's-self kind of friend.  But Lexie of voiceboks has created this ABC's of me event and I thought I just have to participate as everyone's having fun.  Voiceboks is really a wonderful and helpful site for moms (and everyone else) to build network and traffic.  If you haven´t joined voiceboks I really suggest you join.  It´s a fun site and everyone´s just friendly and supportive.

I am actually enjoying reading everyone's ABCs than creating mine :) but a girl's gotta participate too and not just stalk ;-)  So here goes mine.

Artist.  Escape artist, that is.  Having a little one that only sleeps with the boobies and holding on to THE mami, I learned to become a very good escape artist freeing myself from her clutch and not wake her up in the process.

Breastfeeding enthusiast.  We've been breastfeeding for 16months and 2 weeks now!

Contortionist.  See letter A.

Devoted to my family.  My family is my life.

Environmentalist.  At least, I try to be.  We cloth diaper for instance :)

Filipina and a very proud one at that! 

Green.  No, not green as in dirty mind! Green as in earth-friendly.

Homesick most of the time.  I do have a new home now as I have formed my own famiy with a doting husband and a perfect daughter but I still miss my first home all the time.  It's really hard to be oceans away from the people you love.

Introvert in general.  I love mingling with people, I love making friends but I was never a big fan of having night-outs though I enjoy them once in a while.  Most of the time, I just love spending the weekend at home cuddled to hubby while watching our fave movie or tv shows. 

Jolly.  I am generally a jolly person... but yeah, sometimes I do have my dramas too.

 Keen on smells. I am very sensitive on smell inspite of having a very small flat nose.  I consider it a blessing.  But when I got pregnant?  Doomsday for me.  Or rather doomsdays. Everything smells sooooo strong and irritates me to no end.  The coffee smell that I am so inlove with?  It was unbearable for me. 

LOL.  I love to laugh out loud and I do laugh out loud.  Even in public.  Sometimes, I scare people.

Married to the man God has chosen for me. 

No sense of direction. Gosh I swear, I am terrible with directions and I just wish I am the other way around.  I get lost ALL time. 

Oceans away from my parents, siblings, relatives and friends.  But they are always and will always be close to my heart.

Passionate about motherhood.  It's a dream that has now come true.

Queer.  I can be odd sometimes like I love to sleep with a pillow on top of my head (especially in the eye area).

Reserved most of the time.  I'm gnerally a shy person (anyone would like to disagree?). Except when I laugh.  I love a good laugh. 

Second to the eldest in the family.  I have 4 sisters and a brother who's the youngest.

Tearjerky.  I'm quite the emotional type and normally would have a hard time controlling my tears.  I would cry when I get really, really angry.

Unavailable. Sorry, boys!

Verdant when it comes to baking (and maybe to so many other things in life heh!).  But I am really enjoying baking especially when hubby loves  what I bake. 

Wide-eyed, which was often the cause of me getting teased a lot by kids when I was young.  I was called by different names because of having big and wide eyes.  Kids can be really mean, you know.

eXuberant when it comes to showing and giving my love to my daughter.

Yummy to my husband. No one can dispute that!

ZzzZZZzzzZZ'ng is my favorite past time.  I can practically sleep anywhere.  In a bus, in a jeepney, in tricycles, in a metro, in airplanes,in taxis, in cars, and any moving vehicle I guess :).  The movement lulls me to sleep!

Wow, that was tough!

Your toddler is not a liar.

How many times have I seen and hear this, in movies and in real life.  Parents telling their toddlers: Don't lie to me. I know you broke that vase!   Stop lying, and tell me where you hid Mr. Teddy we need to wash him!  Why are you being such a liar at a very young age? 

Isn't it frustrating and disappointing whey they lie? 

How can they learn to lie at such a young age?  If I catch my toddler lying this early, does that mean he's going to be a professional liar when he grows up?  Help!

Stop.

It doesn't really mean they're lying and that they are masking the truth because they want to avoid being punished or simply because they didn't want to upset us.  Don't we do this adults?  Don't we lie because we want to avoid hurting people we love? Don't we lie to avoid getting fined or punished?  I am not saying it is OK to lie but I am just saying that in reality, lying is part of life and if we adults can't avoid this many times, why expect for toddlers to become stronger than us and not lie at all?

I read a blog article of a mom (who shall not be mentioned) about her 2yr old girl playing with other children in a park.  One playmate (a boy slightly older than her) approach the girl and asked for one of her favorite doll.  The 2yr old girl quickly hid the doll behind her and said she doesn't have it. Seeing this, the mom hurried to her girl and said "What did I tell you about lying? I told you not to lie.  Your hiding your doll behind your back.  We can all see her legs coming out from your back.  Let your friend play with it for a while.  You're not just becoming a liar but also a selfish one".  Embarrassed about her 2yr old girl's behavior,  she proceeded on commenting to the parents who were also watching the kids play; "She's terrible. I don't know where she learns how to lie. I kept on telling her that lying is bad.  I guess she's in that age.  But I really have to put a stop to this".

I don't know if I am the only one seeing something wrong with this. But I didn't agree on how the situation was dealt.  The 2yr old girl loves her doll very much.  She might have known how this boy treats toys.  She might have seen him play with his action figures being thrown up in the air and letting it fall - which is how boys would normally play with them.  But for her, this is no way how to treat a beautiful doll... much less her doll.  And it terrorizes her to see her much loved doll to be thrown up and in the air and fall flat in her face.  So to protect her doll from this rowdy little boy,  she said she doesn't have it.  Not telling the truth is her only way to save her doll!  In her small mind, it was her only escape.  Won't adults do the same given a similar situation?  Of course with something more valuable than a doll. But for a 2yr old, her doll is more valuable than an iPhone or than a Prada dress.  She's not being a liar.  She's protecting something precious for her.  

Sometimes we do need to stop and try to see the world the way our little ones see it, to understand their behavior.  Why they acted one way and not the way we'd want them to.

Another classic example is when a child breaks the mom's favorite vase.  The mom would see the broken vase in horror and would ask her child if he broke it and the child would say no with the flower still in his hand.  What could really have happened is that the child was admiring the flower and wanted to touch it but was too clumsy and pushed the vase accidentally.  Obviously, it fell on the floor and broke. The mom normally ask the child "Did you break the vase?" and the child would adamantly say no.  So what happens next?  Mommy says "Don't lie to me, I know you did it! Stop lying because I know you did it".

Why does the child can't just say he did it?  Naturally, he's scared of getting punished and most of all, he's scared of upsetting his mom with his own doing.  He didn't want to be "the cause" of mom getting upset.  For obvious reasons, he loves his mom.  And children more than anything else, loves to see us happy. They love to make us smile.  And so realizing that being the probable cause of mommy becoming sad is not acceptable to the child so he tries to cover up what happened.  This is all his small mind can do best to protect his mom from being sad.  And most probably to avoid getting punished.  Who wants to be punished anyways? Wouldn't we do something as well to avoid punishment?

I am not trying to justify thy lying per se but I am just trying to know where the lying is coming from and how and why these little minds resort to this.  And this way we can better deal with the situation and not just attack the kids with the words lying and liar and other not so nice words.  They don't even know what's lying and a liar and we are already making them believe that they are those words.  Much more, they don't even understand their own emotions.  When a 3yr old boy broke mommy's vase, he could be feeling sadness or disappointment with himself or fear of mommy's punishment but he doesn't even know what are those. 

I just don't like name calling on kids.  Kids believe in what their parents tell them.  So if we constantly tell them they are liars or they are being bad, they'd believe that and they'd think they ARE these things.

So what am I suggesting to be done when faced with a toddler that is not telling the truth in a given situation?  Talk to the child and help them identify what they feel and then recognize it.  Cryptic? Taking the first example above, the mom could have asked her child why she doesn't want to let the boy play with her doll.  The girl might not even able to express her fear of how the boy would treat her doll but the mom can tell her child something like "I know you don't want Lani (supposed name of the doll) to get hurt.  But you can still let your friend play with her while you supervise her.  We'll tell Carl (supposed name of the boy) to take care of her and treat her well, otherwise, we'll tell him he cannot play with Lani.".

Just omit the word lying and the phrase your're being a liar.

On the second example, the conversation can probably go like this:  Mommy:  Mommy is really sad about the vase.  It's my favorite vase.  It was a gift given to me by your grandma.  I know you're sad too.  You didn't mean to break it, did you?  Child: (would most likely nod in silence with a worried face)  Mommy:  Let's see how we can fix this. (Offer something that the child can help mend what has broken or if it's beyond repair let the child help in cleaning up by holding the plastic bag or the garbage can while mommy collects the pieces)

This way, we are teaching the child to do something about what has been done incorrrectly and be able to feel adequate on correcting his clumsiness.  And most importantly, we can show them that it is better to tell the truth and that by telling the truth, they don't get punished (and then we have to be true to our words - we should set a good example, yes?).

Preachy me?  No, I'm not trying to preach, just offering some alternative avenue on dealing with this kind of situations.  I believe toddlerhood is a sensitive period of child development.  In this period, they are very maliable and their brains absorbs just about anyting we teach directly or indrectly.  And we'd want to be really careful about what we tell them (or say when they are around) and show them. 

I've heard a 3yr old say "I don't want to sing because I don't sing well."  Do you really think a 3yr old would already know the standard of good singing or not?  Children at this age, should just be enjoying singing on their own way, their own style.  Oblivious to judgement.  Because they too, don't judge.  Children loooves the way their parents sing to them no matter how bad their parents sing.  Simple because what they appreciate is the attention, the fun spending time with the people most important to them at that point and most of all, the love behind those tunes or mistunes.  So how can 3yr old say he doesn't sing well?  He's heard of it from someone he trusts and thus, believed it.  And that is sad.

 redhanded on munching those sweet yummy cookies

So mommies, I know it's tough to control our nerves when after a long day of hard work, we'd be greeted with a broken vase or empty cookie jar just before dinner and our toddler would vehemently shake their head to deny they weren't the culprit inspite of the flower from the vase is in their hand being hidden at their back or the cookie crumbles on the side of their mouth and on their shirt. But we do need to try and control ourselves not to utter words that may be harmful to their crucial development.  Let's try to remember that the next time this kind of situation occurs, our toddler is not lying because they are little devil liars at such a young age but because they are trying to tell us something in their own clumsy way.  Remember, their vocabulary and perception about their feelings are still very limited thus, they can't just explain things to you and would resort to pretending that the misfortune that happened didn't happen at all or hide the obvious in order to save something or someone very important to them.

Your toddler is not a liar. 

Happy birthday, amor mio.

You're 37.  Am I allowed to say that?  Don't worry because I am pretty sure that what you'll get is all what?? you're 37? You look much younger! There's no doubt about that.

It's been 7 years and 6 months since the first time we've known each other but it seems like I've known you all my life.  Like you've been already a part of me ever since.  That is because you are my destined other half.  Thank you for finding me.  

Sometimes at night when sleep shies away from me after getting too tired the whole day, I would recall our early days together and marvel at what we have already built together.  And then I'd look at our wonderful treasure between us, with her legs wide open like a frog and arms stretched as if reaching for each one of us, I'd feel really, really lucky because life is so good because we are together and because we have formed a family.  

And what's even better that's making me smile just by wondering about it? Is that we'll have each other for a looong time.  You know forever? Longer than that.  Oh, you bet.  And I am pretty sure that by the time my hair's all white and my skin's already saggy all over, you'd still be hot all over me. Although maybe I'd be grumpier than I am now, you'd still undoubtedly hold my hands just every time you'd get the chance to - walking on the street, sitting by the sofa watching tv, seated in a restaurant waiting for the food to be served, in the car on a red light, on the cashier's line waiting for our turn, etc., etc., etc.

I know it'll always be you and me.  And now with Little Spanish Pinay.  And maybe another little one. Or perhaps another? LOL and then it'll be back to just you and me.  Because you and me? Forever.

he's goofing around when I took this photo but look at him, makes me wanna strip him down and procreate right about this minute. Oops, did I just say that out loud?

I love you, my love.

A Mama's Chant

I always remember my mom... and especially now that I'm already a mom myself,  every nitty-gritty things I do or see around me, reminds me of my mom.  From time to time, I even feel like I here my mom calling me with my real name on top of her lungs.  She used to do this every morning when I was a student to wake me up for the nth time.  For a split of second, I'd feel like I travelled time - back when I was still young and with my family in the Philippines.  

Then it'll bring me back to remembering my mom's favorite chants especially when she gets mad.  I must admit I was handful when I was young :-D

Here are the two of my favorites:

Noong maliit pa kayo, hindi ko man lang kayo pinadapauan sa langaw.  Ngayon pinababayaan nyo ang kutis nyo! 

 Translated to:  When you were still small I didn't allow not even a fly to land on you.  Now you are not taking good care of your skin!

She would tell this to us every time we get bruised or scratches from whatever - from playing or from doing anything.  She was very meticulous when it comes to our skin care.   She'd always brag on our relatives that no one would think that we are daughters of the poor because our skin is like that of a porcelain - you know how mothers exaggerate about praising their kids.  I remember one time, I playmate was trying to pull me down from a swing (because he wants his turn) and pulled me on one of my legs.  He fell backwards because my leg was too slippery with the amount of lotion my mom applied on me.  That was embarrassing for me and funny for my playmate as he fell on his bottom.

Saan ka nanaman naglamyerda, amoy-araw ka nanaman at ang buringot mo parang niluwa ng sawa! 

Translated to:  Where did you roam around this time?  You smell like the sun and your hair looks like it was swallowed and spat out by a big snake!

I always wonder if she has really ever seen a snake literally swallowed someone and then spat it out to make this kind of statement.  And smelling like a sun?  Who has ever smelled sun?  I guess amoy-araw is kind of a Filipino idiom that means someone smells like he has been under the sun for a long time.  When I was in grade school, I love to sneak out during nap time and play in the street.  I especially love to play those street games, running around the street barefoot - tumbang preso, patintero, agawan-base, taguan, luksong-tinik, sipa and a lot more!  And everytime I come home all sweaty and tired and dirty, my mom would start this chant.  Mad of course.  

I'm just all the more kind of sentimental about my mom right now as she is going to undergo an operation this coming Tuesday.   I kept on thinking about her and I very much would like to be with her on that day.  Doctors found out she has some type of biliary sludge on her gall bladder and they wanted it to be removed asap.  I forgot the complete medical term, though.  Although the operation is going to be simple and fast according to the surgeon, I still can't help but get worried.  The difficulty of being oceans away from family...

At the time of this writing, my mom is already admitted in the hospital for some tests.  She'll stay there to get ready for tomorrow's operation.  She'll be needing 3-4 days recovery.  I know everything will be fine as God is always with her and that there are tons of people praying for her.

With this note, I'd like to ask everyone to also offer a little prayer for my mom's successful operation and quick recovery.  Thank you in advance!

I never thought I'd miss her nagging :)

Whoa, Friday! ... slow down, will ya?

Breath.  I need to breath!!!   Friday has just been crazy and from the moment my alarm went off,  I've been running around the house like a headless chicken! CRAZY.  Not to mention Little Spanish Pinay had a bit of a hard night - 3 times she woke up asking to be nursed.  Not only to be nursed while we are on the bed side by side but to be nursed AND be on top of me.  Such an addicted-to-mami-and-boobie little human being!

10 to 7am I was awaken by the alarm on my phone.  I dragged myself to my laptop and there it was restarting due to an automatic update.  Nothing to worry, I still have 10 minutes.  After the laptop has restarted, off it went for another automatic update and then restarted and then another update! Oh my good Lord, it restarted no less than 4 times.  I'm beginning to get stressed out.  30 minutes it took to finally finish with all the updates and be ready for me to log in. 

I connected to vpn quickly crossing my fingers that no database alerts have already come in my email.  Alerts does not happen too often so I was trying to be positive.  Then again seems like today is not my day.  There they were 2 database space alerts, each were sent 3 times!  Drat.  My clients would think that I didn't start on time and thus, the space alerts were not attended to at once.  ::Ok. Let's not worry just yet, Spanish Pinay... you can very well explain this and you have a valid reason::

Before I even fix the database space alerts, I got a page.  Production failure.  I am beginning to get really tensed.  But I tried to keep my cool as hard as I can coz this is production environment and I just can't go wrong.   I nervously looked at Little Spanish Pinay while she sleeps soundly. I quickly uttered a prayer.  Please, please don't wake up just yet.  So I dealt with the production failure while discussing things with the client.  I swear, I hate that Murphy's law exists.  This Murphy guy invented this thing and now it hunts many people ever so often!  And today, the index finger of this vicious law is pointing angrily at me.  While talking to the user, there goes the call of nature louder than the siren of an ambulance in a quiet street.  My heart was already pounding and I was breathing heavily.  Of all the time that this kind of emergency would hit me, WHY NOW.   I twisted and I twitched like an earthworm caught between a naughty boy's fingers.  I may have even let out some *noisy air* in the room.  Too much detail? Oops.

Mind over matter, mind over matter.  Between my bead-like sweat and pounding heart,  things weren't bad at all as I was able to resolve the production failure ::and I would add to that - gracefully:: so I was like YEAH, BRING IT ON! 

But I shouldn't have dared fate that way.

More work came in though minor, they still needed time and attention.  Looks like my lunch time will even be taken by these tasks. AND I am supposed to bake a cake!

My loving mother-in-law requested the last minute for me to bake a cake for my sister-in-law as she will be celebrating her birthday tomorrow.  Without batting an eye I said yes.  She asked me if it will be a big deal and I said not at all.  I'm such a show-off like that sometimes.  It kind of thrilled me too because that means they liked the fondant cake I did for LSP's first birthday.  Now, everything's coming right back at me like a boomerang.  I don't have much time to do this and I'm getting stressed at work and man alive, I still need to prepare LUNCH!  Hubby was working at home today and he needs to eat.  LSP needs to eat.  The only one who doesn't need to eat is me because with all the knots forming inside my tummy, there's no room for food anymore.

4:55pm right now and I am taking a breather.  THANK YOU blog!  Thank you for being my outlet and thank you for letting me rant and thank you for listening.  I don't know how I did it but all my tasks for work is done (except for my timesheet which I can do much later), we ATE lunch and I have a beautiful cake for sister-in-law!

Sister in law loves owls.  She has a collection of owl figurines so that inspired me for the cake decoration.

Some additional detail.  The name was especially requested by my mother-in-law and I just printed the Feliz Cumpleaños (happy birthday) card.  This is not a total fondant cake as I just don't have more time to roll a big fondant and cover this cake with it.  So I just made a chocolate ganache to cover the cake. 

So that's my Friday so far.  I so badly need a mint tea and a nap afterwards.  But no, my kitchen is a total wreck so I'm just gonna hang out a bit with LSP and then send her to nap.  Plus I still need to prepare our things for the weekend.  We'll be bumming out on my in-law's house .  It's gonna be beach, baby! That is, IF the sun will not shy away as what it has been doing all these summer period!  

And that call of nature earlier this morning? It hasn't called me back since the last time I hung up on it.  Ack I feel so bloated!  The aftermath of Murphy's law.  Ugh, I so hate Murphy!  Am I grossing out anyone? Shoulda put a warning at the beginning of the post? Yeah, too late for that now.