Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I'm not a part-time mom

I don't like labeling. But let's admit it, in this world, things or events or occupations and just about anything has to have their names, otherwise, it'll be a complete chaos or texting would really be tiring. 

Imagine everytime you need to mention your job, you'd have to say,  I take care of  keeping and inspecting the financial accounts of a company.  Instead of just saying I am an accountant. 

You get the jist.

But when it comes to motherhood or being a mom, I am uncomfortable about the terms full-time mom for moms having the privilege of being able to spend their 24x7 with their kids to mother them. If they are full-time moms, what does that make someone who has an 8-hour job? A part-time mom? 

No, ma'am.

I work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week (and sometimes a few hours on a weekend) but while I work, that doesn't mean I stop being a mom. Jobs can be full-time or part-time. Full-time if you work at least 40 hours a week. 40 hours because that is what's (theortically) just necessary for someone to do his work duties according to their job description and according to (in general) labor's law (at least to most countries I know). Part-time if it is anywhere less than that because someone else (another part-timer) would replace you in order to fill up with the remaining time in a week or in a day necessary for the same job to be done.

But what is the schedule needed to be completed for a mom to be considered full-time? When I am at work, I don't cease to be a mom. Being a mom is not a role for me that can be removed and set aside while I sweat my forehead to bring home bread. When I am not with my child, I am still her mom. Even when she gets married and move out our house, I'll be her mom. When I am not with her, she is still my responsibility even if someone else is caring for her in my absence.  My day job? I am only responsible with the databases when I am on duty... otherwise, if there's any problem that would occur, I'm not required to do anything or work, so to speak.  Being a mom is not like a job or profession where you can forget about being so when work schedule has ended.  So no, I beg to disagree that one is a full-time mom and then others would fall into the part-time mom category just because we leave the house to earn a living.

I'm not criticizing moms that use the term full-time moms being when they are stay-at-home moms as this term is not something they invented.  The term has just been there and I am 100% for sure it's not being used to mock working moms like me.  But nonetheless, it does make me reflect on what does that imply about moms who work.  Call it being guilty?  Maybe I am guilty that I spend time working isntead of being with my child every minute she needs me - just like how I'd imagine myself doing in my perfect world - and so hearing another mom declaring she's a full-time mom gives me that defensive feeling? I don't know but I just strongly believe it isn't fair.   More than a profession or a vocacion, motherhood IS relationship with your child and that relationship is not and cannot be "temporarily stopped" while one is not with her child to do her way of helping with the house bills.  So it can never be part-time.
I am a mother. Full-time and for a lifetime.  Period.

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