10 weeks has passed since that traumatic at the same time fulfilling day in my life. Has it really been 10 weeks already? Or should I say just 10 weeks? If I am to think about what's left of my maternity leave, then I'd say gosh, 10 weeks already!! But If I am to think about the time when little Spanish Pinay wouldn't be so demanding anymore and she'd be more independent playing on her own, probably already eating baby food aside from breastmilk that'll make her really sleep through the night, then I'd say shux, just 10 weeks...
In fairness to our little one, she's been really good at night. On lucky nights, she's sleep for 5-6 hours straight then feeding time, then another 4 hours, feeding time then another 2-3 hours maybe. On normal nights, she'd sleep 3-4 hours straight then feeding time, then 3-2 hours then feeding time, then another 3-2 hours. On a not so lucky nights, she'd wake up every two hours asking for her mami's milk. Right after she gets fed, she'd easily go back to sleep. Sometimes, she's too sleepy that she'd only drink from one breast and there's just no way she'd latch on to the other breast. That makes her only sleep for 2 hours. The next morning, every morning, even though I've been waking up every now and then to feed her, I get my biggest, warmest thank-you-mami smile from our little one. She doesn't fail on waking up with big smile for me. The moment she makes I'm-awake-I'm-not-sleepy-anymore noises, I'd slowly open the window to let the light in, she'd blink her eyes to adjust, then I'd tell her good morning, she'd look at me and there she is all smiles, all giddy moving her head from side to the other showing off her toothless gums. Every morning. No fail. Tiredness eased. Ready for the whole day's carrying and feeding and playing and ssshh'ing Tala.
good morning my shining star!
As of me, I'm still in a big adjusting mode. I am doing a lot better now that I am well into getting healed from being sliced and diced. Baby blues... it's now just in my rear view mirror. One day, it'll be completely out of my sight. I just have too many thoughts going on my mind that I just can't shut them even at night they keep me awake. They are my excitements, worries, things I want to do, things I want to have for my family and the list just goes on. Work. Tala's room. Bunny dusts. Jeans. Beach. Going out for a walk with Tala without her suddenly screaming along the way. My family oceans away. There's just too many of them. I really have to slow it down.
I am so thankful I have a loving husband who's always supporting me with everything. He's always there with his bloomers and pom-poms cheering me up (now that's an interesting sight to imagine... uhm, interesting, no. Hilarious!)