Monday, July 9, 2012

This is it. I'm nearly Breaking Down

Ok. Not just nearly. I did break down once last week.  It's tougher than I thought it would be.  The daycare thing.  Yes, the daycare thing. 

The first 2 days have been fine as Little Spanish Pinay stayed there for only 2 hours.  There were no tears.  Only serious face. Then another 2 days of 3-4 hours.  Starting Wednesday last week, the crying has started.  She'd tell me in the mornings that she doesn't want to go to daycare and it breaks my heart.  It scratches my soul. 

The hardest part is when I see her trying to stop her cries everytime we arrive to the daycare.  She doesn't cry out loud nor scream nor nothing of that sort.  But she has tears in her eyes while she'd tell me "Please mami, I don't want to go." She's trying to be strong but I do feel her anxieties and sadness and that's breaking me apart even more.

I know it could be worse.  She's being a really good trooper considering that she didn't have much of the needed adjustment period.  But every morning that she'd plea not to go to daycare, I get a big knot in my stomach. 

I know people tell me that it'll be good for her as she will learn a lot of things from there, etc... but that is where the hardest part comes in.  I am not really one of those who believe that toddlers need to be in the daycare to learn certain things or to learn how to socialize with other kids, etc.  And so the more that it gets harder for me to accept that she has to go.

For me, daycares are not a necessity for kids but more of a necessity for parents - for working moms like me.  And that's where the guilt really rubs me off.

I am very much aware too that it won't help if I dawdle with these thoughts but I can't ignore either that it's taking a toll on me.  "It's tough to be a parent" is an underestatement.  And all the more that it gets tougher when parents are strained by their limited resources or choices to be able to give their children what they know is best for them.

Oh well, I know Little Spaish Pinay will be more than fine.  It's tough but this too, shall pass.

17 comments:

  1. Awww, I didn't have the same problem with my daughters before but now I have a 1 yr old son, who's super attached to me. I already dread the day that I have to send him to preschool. I can already imagine him screaming his head off. :( Anyway, I'm sure your daughter will be find and you too. Best of luck!

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  2. Hugs! Everything will be fine Lhot - these are growing pains that you will soon overcome.

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  3. My mama heart aches for you. Life can be so hard sometimes...especially when it concerns our little ones. HUGS and blessings to you.

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  4. Aww, i can imagine the scene. don't worry sis, this too shall pass. i've read somewhere na pag hinatid mo sa school, alis na agad and don't look back anymore. siguro para hindi maguilty.

    pero bilib din ko kay LSP, napipigilan na niya emotion niya. =)

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  5. such a heartbreaking story sis, i can feel the sadness with LSP. and indeed, it's tough to be a parent. haaay.

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  6. It is hard...for you and LSP. There is no getting around that and you are right, you don't need to hear how it will be "good" for her. When our younger son was about 2, we would leave him in the church nursery/daycare room while we attended service...but he was so unhappy without me that I ended up being one of the teachers. :) So even though I had my own home daycare and helped other parents make that separation easily, I wasn't able to make it with my own son. :) I know that you and your husband have found a good, safe and loving daycare situation for your daughter...and I know that it is something you need to do in order to work. Many hugs...all will be well. :)

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  7. Maybe you should also check with her techer whey she suddenly lost interest. Might give you a better idea why she's acting up. =)

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  8. This too shall pass sis :)Take Care and GoodLuck! *hugs

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  9. I hope it passes soon for you both. If only life is as easy is we want it to be. I agree with Tin, talk to the teacher as she may have views why LSP had the sudden change of heart.

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  10. well i think i was kind of LUCKIER than you are. i didn't have those problems when my kids started daycare at 3 years old. but eventually, your little girl will meet new friends and will enjoy the activities in school and will finally adjust to her new routine and so will you.. give yourselves some time.

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  11. Aww. I'm sure she'll feel a lot better about daycare soon. I agree with Tin, maybe you should tell her teacher about this so you'd know why she doesn't want to go. This should be an exciting and fun experience for her since she gets to hang out with other kids.

    We bring Kelly to this sort of daycare here (Gymboree). They have classes too, but the parents get to join the kids pero sa background lang kami. Music and dance classes lang naman for Kelly's age. It's helping her get used to the idea of going to a real daycare/preschool. So far enjoy naman si Kelly.

    Coffee With Kim

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  12. ganun talaga....tama pag mahatid na ay alis agad,hehe...

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  13. when my kids went to daycare my husband had to take them b/c my shifts started so early..he would tell me how they would cry and cry...eventually they stopped crying and made friends...hang in there!!!

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  14. I hope your LSP is feeling better in school now. You are such a great mom and I'm sure she knows that kahit ayaw niya sa daycare. In my kids school marami dn kids na umiiyak but after a week or two they start enjoying school na rin specially when they begin to have playmates na.

    hang in there mommy!

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  15. Either there is something that she didn't like there or she just really miss you. I understand the feelings. Can be tough, but I hope it will get better.

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  16. You and LSP will both be fine :). What you're going through is normal, I'm sure you know that. We all suffer from some degree of separation anxiety, but you'll get over it. LSP is growing up... before you know it, she won't be too little anymore...

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  17. Oh my. That is very stressful indeed. I also believe that daycare is not the only option to learning. And knowing how kids can create drama of small things, I guess it will take a while until they will like it. Hang in there. :D

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