From the beginning of our pregnancy, I had it clear. I don't want this popular epidural for our delivery. No, I'm not aiming for a martyr-award nor wanting to prove I'm a strong and invisible woman. It's just that I have a great fear over this drug and the way it is administered. I've heard unfortunate stories about epidural and some side effects of it (though percentage is really low). Some friends also swore by it and expressed that without it, they could have probably died with pain during labor. Probably due to ignorance, I am just not comfortable about it.
I am not saying either that whatever happens, I won't take epidural. After all, this is our first pregnancy. I don't have an idea how low or high my threshold is about labor pain. I am trying to keep an open mind. In fact, I just went through some tests to know if I can be administered with epidural just in case I ask for it. I also had a talk with the anesthesiologist about epidural, how it is administered and for her to answer my questions and doubts. She had been accommodating with all my questions hence but still in the end, I am on the side of hopefully not wanting epidural for the delivery.
My mom gave birth to 6 children, one even came out with her butt first, all natural child-brith and no epidural or whatsoever. That IS amazing. Though it is not necessary that if she was able to do that, I too can do that. But at least I'd like to think of that as something out there in the world of possibilities that can very well happen to me. Sort of inspiration.
Then again, who can tell how the delivery is going to be. Each childbirth is unique to every woman... the experience, the pain management, the physical and emotional status, etc., and these things can't just be used as a reference to one's own delivery.
Maybe I am going to dilate fast and would be at 7cm already at the time we arrive in the hospital... maybe the anesthesiologist is not available to administer epidural and so they can't give it to me even if I gave in and ask for it... just maybe there will be certain circumstances that epidural is just not an option for me, then I don't really have no choice but to go through childbirth without the help of this drug... then probably that's easier for me to take the decision, ehrm, that's not actually taking any decision. Maybe that's better.
Right now, what I am trying to do is imagine a beautiful birth for our little Spanish Pinay. I know too that hubby will be there in every step of the way and that he will be my natural pain reliever (that is, if he doesn't faint in the delivery room :-D). As part of this birthing orchestra, Little Spanish Pinay will be as wonderful as a bright star early in the morning. I have no doubt about that. She has been a very good girl this whole pregnancy. Good girl but fierce!! (Her nightly head butting, punching, kicking and most especially stretching is still on going).
So, little one, whenever you want, mami and papi are ready for you! (Hey, give me enough warning though, OK? Thanks, baby!)