Sunday, September 12, 2010

Confessions of a Mom

I breastfeed on demand. That means whenever and wherever Tala wants to. So that means, in our world, there's no such thing as feeding every 2 or 3 hours. *GASP!*. I never let her cry "so she can learn to console herself". If she cries for like 2 minutes its because it is almost impossible for me to take her in my arms at once. If she wants to be carried by mami, I willingly oblige. *Another GASP*. Lastly, we co-sleep. *DOUBLE GASP!*. There, I've said it. In this modern day of formula-and-scheduled-feeding, Ferber-method-of-"teaching"-your-baby-how-to-sleep-alone and co-sleeping-is-a-bad-bad-habit, these are worth confessing about. I'd get all sorts of comments like "you're going to spoil that baby!" Or "She's going to manipulate you!" Or "She'll never learn to be independent!" Or "She will never sleep through the night" Or "You'll never be able to send her to her own bed even after 15!". Guess what, I. Don't. Care. At. All.

If she wants to be latched on me all night to feel warmth and security from her mami, she got it. I'd cuddle her all night until she tells me: mami, I like your embraces but you may now let me move around the bed. If she's on her stroller and we're walking outside and she cries for my arms, no second thoughts. I'd carry her as long as my arms have the strength to do so. Is that spoiling? Then let her be spoiled. When she's upset and cries as she feels something is not right around her and she needs mami to make it right, I'll definitely be there to try to make it right. My husband and I attend to her every cry not just because it's hard to ignore her 10,000 decibels cry but because that's what feels right for us. Are we being manipulated? No I don't believe that. And I won't believe that in that still developing brain of this tiny, very fragile little person, there's conspiracy going on to make her parent's life miserable on purpose. That is just pure bull.

What Little Spanish Pinay needs now is love, attention and care. No disciplining. No training to be independent. At this age, she IS dependent to her parents especially to her mom. Because that is just how it is. Designed by nature. Independence will come later in her life and for sure by that time, I am going to wish she'd still be a baby. So why would I want to hurry and push her to be independent now? No can do.  Discipline will be administered on the right age, the right moment, the right avenue.  Not now.  

So if someone asks me if Tala is already sleeping through the night, my reply will be: "Oh, even better than that, we cuddle through the night."

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