It's 2 and quarter in the morning. It must be the tea that I mistakenly drank. Hubby prepared a mint tea for me and a lady grey for him. I took the wrong cup and was too caught up with something that hubby and I were checking on the internet to notice that I was drinking hubby's tea. So now, the caffeine in it is probably hitting me. And when someone's unable to sleep the mind goes tappity-tap like a keyboard.
It made me ponder about the weekend that has just passed by. How I've waited for this weekend to come to get a little bit more rest and yet it just passed me by like a bullet train. The weekend has been one of those ordinary and quiet weekends. We had lunch at my in-laws' place. With Little Spanish Pinay though, the ordinary weekends has started to become extraordinary. The pre-lunch and lunch time is always full of laughter and giggles. She has become the center of fun in the house. And she does know how to give fun. She's full of antiques that sends off everyone to LOL.
As I look at her abuelo(grandfather) and abuela(grandmother), and how much happiness she is able to give to them, my heart gets filled with so much emotion. She loves to play with them. She squeals and wiggle her little legs in excitement. She shows off her antiques and the abuelos go crazy. And I just can't help but feel very proud. I am the mother of this little person that gives such a big joy to our family.
This little person that is sleeping beside me as I type these thoughts hoping that in the process, sleep will knock, is now the biggest source of my strength and inspiration together with my other half. She's smiling from time to time as angels play with her in her dreams. She has fulfilled my dream. Our dream. How I love to sniff her breath and play with her little hand while she nurse. I love the way she says mah-mah when she cries and calls for me. It's just too darn cute. It makes me think that she already associates the word mama to me. I love to see her get busy on her own, talking alone and playing with her toys but then looking at me from to time and then smile seeing that I am there looking at her. She's my 24x7 company. She'd climb on me, hug me, kiss me, search for Las Boobies by pulling off my shirt's neckline (yeah, she knows where the pot of gold hides), she talks to me with her own language and I pretend to understand, She's here with me. For me. Constantly. And I am here for her too. Constantly. Even after she doesn't need me to anymore. Suddenly everything else has become secondary to seeing her smile and be happy and healthy and safe.
This is motherhood.
This is motherhood.