Sunday, March 20, 2011

My Odd Egg

Our neighbor (next door) gave birth to their first son 2 days before I gave birth to LSP. One day we bumped into each other by the elevator so we said the normal hi, hello, how's life, etc. I playfully talked to LSP telling her look how ::let's call the little boy James to protect his identity:: James loves his pacifier. His mom laughed at the comment and asked me "Why, your daughter doesn't like pacifiers?" I told her she never liked it. We did try for her to like it but no avail. Then she said "Well, my sister in law has a daughter too and doesn't like pacifiers either. So now, the problem is that she sucks her thumb too much". Then I said "LSP is an odd egg...she's not into sucking her thumb either." To which, I got a surprised face and a follow up question of "Then how does she calm herself?"

I was a bit stumped with the question.  I didn't exactly know what to say.  In the end, before the elevator door closed, I just joked and said "The boobs calm her, I guess" with a shrug and a shy smile in my face.  Then we said our see-you-laters.

So I was left with the question in my mind and I felt like I should have given my neighbor a better answer. And because I have a blog, I can say whatever I want can get a chance to answer the question better though it's just for my own peace of mind.

How does LSP calm herself? I guess she almost never have to. Mami and/or papi were always there to take her and soothe her and make her feel comfortable.  And mami almost always results to offering Las Boobies to make her feel better.

Is that good or bad?

Neither. It's just simply what works for us now.  Some might say it's spoiling her or making her too dependent on us. Or worse, that's converting me to a human pacifier.  Honestly? I don't mind to be her human pacifier.  I am her mom and I feel really good being able to pacify her.  Time will come that she won't need me that much anymore so I am taking advantage while all she knows is to run to mami when something seems not right for her.

I actually had a lot of pressure at the beginning when I didn't want to give her a pacifier when we were in the hospital.  I wanted us to be able to at least establish breastfeeding first before "maybe" trying pacifier.  I'm not against pacifiers as I am also aware of its benefits but my personal choice about it for my daughter is no-paci-thank-you.  Some tried to convince me and "helped" me get LSP used to pacifiers but LSP is smarter than they think.  She said thanks-but-no-thanks to all well-meaning "help".

It's granted. There are babies that just wouldn't conform to pacifiers. LSP is one of them. I'm actually happy she didn't like it from the beginning. I must admit that there were frustrating times that we simply didn't know how to calm her fussiness. But I guess it's just how it is. It's part of babie's growing up. She's one baby that needs constant attention from us and wouldn't settle to be calmed down by an object. Not a paci nor a lovey.  She only asks for mami or papi and Las Boobies.  It can be draining sometimes but really, I prefer that, than her, running to an object to calm herself.  

Going back to the question, it made me relaize that there are many parents (just talking about the ones I have personal interaction with) who might be using pacis too extensively. As in too much in a bad way. Like everytime a baby cries, they'd just pop in a paci without looking if there's something that is actually making the baby uncomfortable. The thing is, like any other thing in the world, too much, can be bad. And when pacis are being used everytime to replace the constant human touch and care that babies need, then that makes pacis bad.

I remember a woman in the park where LSP and I used to go to. She was seated in a bench and in front of her is a stroller with a baby in it about less than a year. The baby was happily sucking his pacifier looking at the woman (probably her mom) while the woman was with her phone - prolly texting or playing. A man with a dog passed by and the dog sniffed the stroller, the baby reached his hand to the dog, the dog got startled and barked. The baby was startled too and started crying. The woman just looked at the baby and popped the paci back at the baby's mouth. The baby sucked the paci but cried again after a couple of seconds. He was really stressed reaching his hands to the woman. The woman popped it in again. This continued for I don't know how long. The woman just kept on popping the paci back in the baby's mouth everytime he cries. I shook my head. The baby was scared and needed to be held - by human. Something went wrong and he needed an adult to correct it and make him feel safe and comfortable again. He needed human touch and not an object to make him feel safe again.  

Anywho my neighbor's question just rang on me over and over again. I thought the question is off.  But I guess it's just me and my oddity.  Now I know why LSP is an odd egg.  But she's my odd egg and I like her just like that.  Oh, that's a lie. I adore her for being odd and for being everything that she is.

can this odd egg can get even cuter?

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