Wednesday, March 23, 2011

There's No Stopping It Now

She turned 11 months yesterday.  There's just no stopping it now... Little Spanish Pinay is well on her way to toddlerhood.  And it just dawned on me... she's not a baby anymore! With the way she communicates with us, the way she makes her own conversation with her toys and the way she pretends to read a book in her own baby toddler language while she bobs her head, the way she nods her head and says her own version of "yes" with whatever we ask her, with the way she stands on her own without support and with such confidence, with the way she folds her knees while picking up something on the floor and then balancing her way back to standing again, with the way she hides behind a chair and suddenly appears to startle us, with the way she gets the remote control, press the button and point it on the tv, with the way she loves picking up the phone and put it on her ear and pretend to talking to someone, with the way she gets excited when she recognizes people in the photo and pointing them out one by one.... with all these and more, tells me she's not a baby anymore. 

Excuse me while I blow my nose.

Ok.  I'm back.  See, I'm such a big drama.  Ever since I've converted to a mom, I've also converted to an even bigger wuss.  What motherhood can do...

Anyways, it's almost official, Little Spanish Pinay is already a toddler.  She's actually toddling now... doing a couple of steps on her own - when she's not aware that she's walking on her own.  See, she's a big fraidy-cat very cautious.  So the moment she becomes aware that she's on her own, she'd rush into finding something to hold on to or would suddenly sit down.  But she's almost there.  We don't rush her in any way though and much less, we don't force her to walk.  We do encourage her whenever she makes little effort to walk on her own and she gets really happy and proud seeing us clap our hands and do our little ra-ra-ra cheer.

Seems like all of these happened just over night.  She's changing in just a blink of an eye.  I can't really believe it and I don't think I am ready for a toddler that runs away from mami just yet.  Ok, I'm exagerating.  I am actually excited to see every changes in her and every new thing she learns everyday... but I'm already getting nostalgic about the times when she was still sooo tiny.  I feel like it's been light years away.  Crazy things a mami says, right?

Then again, whenever she gets clingy to mami (I tell you she has a lot of those moments... she never seem to get over her separation anxieties), I must admit there are times that it gets a little overwhelming especially when I have a lot of other things to do but many times,  it makes me feel so wanted by my baby-fast-approaching-toddlerhood.  And that feeling? Is heaven.  Then she'd ask to be nursed and would open her eyes wide and would squeal and make that mad-baby-half-smile at the sight of her most precious source of milk and then would make that ohhhmm sound as if her hunger would finally be quenched after a whole day of not feeding and then she'd half-close her eyes and the pupil would hide upward and then the eyes will become all white like she's in a euphoric state... That moment? I'm in a euphoric state too.

I guess while I can still nurse her, I'd still have some moment where I can feel that she's still a little baby.  Everytime she surrenders her whole body like that in my bossom to be carried and be nursed, she's like a newborn all over again to me (but without that part of umbilical cord that hasn't fallen off yet so that's good hehe).  So tiny, so fragile, so in-need of mami's warmth. 

And whatever happens, even after she turns one, seven, or 18 or gets married (ahhhh, noooo!)... she'd forever be my liittle baby.  I have to emphasize little baby coz I have a big baby - ehem the hubby.  He gets all what-about-me-I'm-not-your-baby-anymore? If I don't clarify that ;-)

Look at all that seriousness in her face.  It spells big girl sigh.

She loves flowers!.... and weeds and soil and everything else she can pull
And that smile? I drool at the sight of it.
Sometimes she has this attitude of I'm-ok-mami-I-want-to-be-on-my-own... it cracks me up but then makes me feel sad like it's a big omen that soon she won't need me anymore.  I'm crazy like that.

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