.... is what my blog has been for a week now! I've been busy yes, but more than busy, I was lazy. I've a number of blog drafts already and I just can't find time ::and enough words:: to conclude them worthy of posting. How many times would I compose a whole blog entry in my mind while having a shower but then once already in front of the laptop, I am left blank. And then I'd hear Little Spanish Pinay yell meeeeemmmiiiii - yeah, sometimes she calls me that like she's some type of slang. Really, everytime I hear her call me in her usual enthusiastic yet very affectionate tone, I drop everything and just roll with her on the floor and make her giggle and my heart bloat with love.
I am addicted to her.
But going to a supermarket or a store with her? Stress level to the highest power! She. Is. Unstoppable. She loves the shopping cart and would squeal upon seeing one and couldn't wait till she gets on it. Only for 10 minutes though. Then she'd want to go down and start running around and squeal with excitement with all the colors and shapes and people and kids she's seeing around. She'd carry heavy big bottles of water, or pick up cans of tuna and put then on the floor and admire what she just did and then go on to the next item. She'd try to squeeze instant noodles and open yogurts. Curiosity and exploration intensity level? Full bars.
And so, everytime we can do shopping and leave her with her grannies, it's equivalent to peace. And uneasiness. See, I would miss her a lot in the grocery. She's just full of life and I love the she would greet people and then suddenly shy away when someone responds or try to talk to her but then would go back to the person to get the attention back. Then I like the way people look at her and exclaim how cute and adorable she is and then she'd tilt her head smiling with giddiness as if she understands that people are admiring her. Mami is just a proud mom. Too much. I'm not really vain and compliments about me is something that makes me feel uncomfortable. I can't handle compliments. I become clumsy over compliments and would always end up looking stupid with my shy smile and non-verbal responses over compliments. But with my daughter, I've become vain over her. Is there such a thing? Like I continuously seek compliments about her and people's attention on her, etc. As if she's me or part of me and I just want to hear all those compliments and raves about her. This is bad, isn't it?
She wants to go up and down the escalator on her own. She won't settle being carried.
Anyways, like what Katy Perry says, I'm hot and I'm cold over grocery shopping ::and shopping in general:: without LSP. When I finally get the chance to have some time just with hubby, there's peace and calmness and it's really a breather but then we'd start to talk about her silliness and antics and then I would terribly miss her. My body literally aches for her presence. Then my mind would just wander where she is. The whole time.
It's addiction definitely.
See, the post is supposedly about my blog being a ghost town for a week now and that I am super busy and than I miss blogging and that I miss reading my favorite bloggers but I just ended up talking about her. I know, I'm annoying already. But bear with me, please? *bats eyes*