Saturday, May 28, 2011

Why co-sleep? My answer? Why not?

In western countries co-sleeping is an issue.  Experts say it's dangerous for the baby.  Some says it'll become baby's habit that will be difficult to get away from later on.  Professionals say it'll teach babies to become too dependent to their parents.  Many studies show that SID or sudden death infant is more likely on babies who sleep alone.  Dr. Sears for one, greatly advocates co-sleeping because according to his study, babies breath better and more regularly while sleeping with the mom. Find out more from his site.  Now, let's talk about the habit that will be difficult to get away from later on.  How long do you think a baby or a child would really want to sleep with the parents? At 5? At 7? Why do we want to push our kids to sleep in their own room, own bed as early as birth to teach them so-called independence and then wonder why at age 16 they'd already want to live alone. And then as we parents grow older, we fear that they'd put us in nursing homes and rarely be visited.  In this case, aren't we just reaping what we sow?

We've been co-sleeping for 9months now and not one single instance did hubby or I rolled over Little Spanish Pinay.  Not even once did we have accidentally hurt LSP while we were sleeping and it's not that we have a big bed.  We only have the queen size bed and space is just enough for the three of us.  My siblings and I co-slept with our parents and none of us put on a fight when it was time to stop sleeping with mama and papa because well, a new sibling just arrived the house.

Admittedly, when we were still pregnant with LSP, we planned for preparing her own room before her arrival.  I, more than my husband was obsessed with having everything ready before LSP's arrival.  It drove me batty not having been able to buy her crib a couple of months before my due date.  Good thing that LSP is smarter than us and didn't conform to second best.  She slept on her own bassinet during her first 4 months because mami and dadi thought it was the best for her and that's what people say we should do.  Those were tough moments and there were sleepless nights... there were days that I just find myself letting her sleep in our bed because I was already too tired but swore that it'll be our dirtly little secret and that we'll never tell a soul of it especially to LSP's pediatrician.  But then we realized that those stolen moments that we let LSP sleep with us in our bed are one of those nights when all three of us slept well.  Those rare nights became often and then it became the default.  We became co-sleepers in the closet.  But then being co-sleeper in the closet didn't last.  Understanding that this is what works best for us, we came out in the open and are proud to tell anyone that we co-sleep.  Of course we get different reactions and the most common is that we'll never be able to send LSP to her own bed.  Never is a such a long time, isn't it?  I myself don't have that much of a time in this world. 

Sometimes, I get to think that those co-sleeping risks that we hear around, is a malicious propaganda of buesinessmen to get us to buying those essential baby products like crib, bassinets, etc.  So many theories and ideas that make parents worry about the safety of their child so they fall victim.  It's the perfec scheme. Of course, parents would only want what's best and safest for their babies.

I fell victim.

But then I am now wiser.  The next time God graces us with a baby, I'd know better and I'll be more keen on what's really just essential for the coming of the baby.

In the meantime, we'll just continue to enjoy our little family's slumber party every night of every week of every month of every year.

Every weekend, LSP wakes up with her papi beside her and everytime, her face lightens up with happiness and surprise being able to wake up and seeing her papi on the bed with us.  Those are really precious moment I'd never exchange for anything else in the world.
So co-sleeping? Why not.


  1. "Why do we want to push our kids to sleep in their own room, own bed as early as birth to teach them so-called independence and then wonder why at age 16 they'd already want to live alone. And then as we parents grow older, we fear that they'd put us in nursing homes and rarely be visited. In this case, aren't we just reaping what we sow?"

    I never even thought about this - but it makes so much sense!
    (Great post! I didn't intend to co-sleep at first, but my c-section sort of forced me into it. I'm glad I started and have continued to.

    My hubby is concerned about when our little baby starts rolling over in bed... Thoughts?)

  2. Hi Lindsay, I had a C-section too. I am breastfeeding and I find that it is so much easier to co-sleep since breastfed babies tend to wake up more often... see breastmilks are digested a lot faster and easier (which is actually something good). Our daughter is now 13months and I tell you, she moves a lot when she sleeps but it hasn't been a problem yet. She started rolling over during her sleep around her 7th month but it wasn't a problem either. She would just roll over (she tends to roll over to go near her dad- I think she's a daddy's girl hehe) and would bump to her dad for instance but doesn't wake up. In fact I think she enjoys the warm touch of her dad's body. It hasn't been a bother to her dad either... he enjoys it too makes him feel even closer to our daughter. My personal view about this is that (of course I can't prove it scientifically.. it's just my personal observation) over time, all co-sleepers become in-synch with our sleep pattern and if one gets awaken by the other's movement, we just tend to go back to sleep without even really feeling that we were awaken. In terms of safety, it's somehow the same, it's like our unconscious mind makes our body conscious about having someone else sleeping with us and thus, prevent anyone of us fron hurting our daughter by rolling over or hitting her accidentally. All these happening naturally without us feeling like we haven't slept at night because we were to conscious we'll hurt our daughter. Oh and take note, both hubby and I move a lot when we sleep :)

    this is quite long looks like another blog post LOL

  3. We’ve been co-sleeping for 31 months and still counting. :-)

  4. Cheers to your family, Michelle! Let's enjoy while it lasts... I'm pretty sure one day they'll be demanding a bed and a room of their own and when that time comes, I'd be heartbroken but happy for my baby's search of independence. But I'll wait till it happens to her naturally - I'll never force it to her :)

    Spanish Pinay

  5. I had fever after giving birth so we started co-sleeping after 2 weeks pa. My baby is turning 3 this August and we're still co sleeping. She moves a lot too and occupies half of the bed but it's okay. There are times when she wakes me up with sweet kisses on my cheeks. Who wouldn't love that!


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